Parental Consent
I suppose that being part of an "outside the mainstream" group opens one up for this type of thing, but I continue to hope and wish that common sense and perhaps intelligence might overcome. Unfortunately, my desires do not always win out.
It truly makes me wonder when children expect adults to assist them in freaking out their parents. The under 18 crowd who want adults to help them "hide their faith" from their parents totally confuse me. I suppose that's only fair because apparently I confuse them when I tell them that the faith will still be here if they wait to practice it until they are of age.
Many of those who insist on shoving their newfound faith in their parents' faces, almost daring them to "do something" about it. Sometimes, it's a scream for attention. Sometimes, Wicca is the next attempt in a series of means to annoy parents after the child has already tried being goth, dying their hair purple, piercing their tongues or eyebrows, etc. etc. No, this is definitely not ALL of the children who are interested in Wicca. And yes, it is very difficult to be a child living with parents who are not "religiously hip." It's very difficult to be a child living with parents who are not "hip" in general. However, sometimes there is a price to be paid for living in the house and being supported by Mom and Dad.
I do not personally advocate hiding your faith from your parents. However, if your parents have forbidden you to practice Wicca or Paganism or whatever, fighting with them about it is only going to serve to drive a wedge between you that you may not care about now, but you definitely will care in later years. You can always wait until you move out, and then it won't be their business anymore. Although they may still pray for your soul, they will no longer be in control of your day to day life.
Please keep in mind that parental consent is a very "big deal" for many of us in the Pagan community. Adults who mentor or assist those under 18 with their faith can be held liable in court (depending on state law, of course) if the parents decide that religious instruction is being provided without their consent. This is why so many hesitate before taking on teen students. It can definitely be a significant issue.
So, my advice is, if your parents don't agree with your choice of religion - wait a few years. The Goddess will still be there to welcome you.
Comments
This is a tough issue. You want the kids to be able to discover their path on their own, but when the parents object, that can cause discourgement if not resentment in the child. But maybe the child wants to be taught magick only because it is "cool" and because they think they can be like Willow or Harry Potter. Some parents may object for religious reasons or because they think it is just a silly fad. In that case, I say the teen should wait until they are old enough, i.e. 18. I also think they can still honor their path in ways that do not cause any problems, like meditation, sitting outside and listening to Nature or just taking a walk in the moonlight. If they want to actually practice, do ritual, study, or be mentored, then that is something to wait for when there is objection on part of the parents.
Posted by: tara | January 25, 2004 08:54 PM
I'm with Tara. There are many ways to practice one's faith in the Goddess that do not involve ostentation and display. How will your parents know if you meditate in your room? Recite a mantra? Pray or recite devotionals in your head?
Part of the problem here is that a generation of textbooks has convinced people that you need a bagful to gadgetry to honor and worship the Divine. All it takes is yourself, and a little silence. Once you become better at concentrating and can activate one-pointedness of mind at the drop of a hat, even silence may not be necessary.
Posted by: Kensho Godchaser (Jay Allen) | January 30, 2004 02:11 PM
I have to disagree. I have known about magick since I was 8. I've always had to hide what i believed in from my parents. I do have Bos's and other journals but they are very well hidden in my room. And when I have to go out on a long trip (to friends house, or just out) I carry them with me in a knapsack so my little sis's or mom can't pull them out being nosy. I do not throw my beliefes in anyone's faces or have tattoos or aynthing. I don't even have a recognizable altar set up in my room. By now I've hidden things for so long that i can do it with my eyes closed.
Sometimes, in extreme cases like this, it is best to hide things. Ecspecially from people who think all "kids" are up to no good and are too immature for aynthing.
Magick and Wicca for me is a way of life, always has been. I'm not going to let anyone take that away from me.
Almost forgot, another good reason to hide the Craft away from parents and other people is that if an argument about something stupid comes up, they won't be able to hold the knowledge over your head when they don't play fair in the argument. Parents, being human, will do this occasionally.
Posted by: Coca-Cola | February 4, 2004 08:34 PM