Non Fluffy Wicca

It never ceases to amaze me how some people seem to be oblivious to the behavior of their own children, and how they will continue to bring ill behaved brats to solemn occasions in which concentration is paramount - such as solemn rituals. I now see, with great clarity, why there are rules banning children from some events, and why many churches banish the children to "Sunday School" while the "real" services are going on.

I was at the Wiccaning of a baby over the weekend. The child's parents were High Priesthood in a tradition, and owners of the Temple in which the event was taking place. The heads of the Tradition flew in especially for the event, as did many guests from different parts of the country. Clearly, this was a "big deal" and a very solemn event in which a non trivial amount of energy was being raised to protect and bless the child. If you had a child who had previously disrupted rituals, would you have brought such a child to this ceremony? Only, in my opinion, if you were either deluding yourself as to the extent of the disruption or if you were ridiculously selfish.

There was a child of about 8 or so standing next to me, dressed up as if going to church, who stood quietly and solemnly, carefully mimicking the actions of her mother across the circle. She was beautifully behaved. There were a few other young people scattered around the circle, who were also well behaved, quiet, and respectful. However, there were two who had caused difficulty and hard feelings before, who again lived up to their histories, yapping incessantly (despite being shushed by a Priestess several times) and one even LOUDLY answered for the baby at the most important points in the ceremony. The parents did nothing.

I had heard, but had not seen, previous horror stories about various out of control children at high rituals, knocking things over deliberately, dancing in front of the altar during a non dancing ritual, blocking the clergy from performing the necessary acts, screaming at the tops of their lungs despite being WELL old enough to know better, and generally making a mockery of proceedings while one or both parents stood by doing nothing. One actually became totally offended when someone ELSE told the particular child to sit down and behave properly or leave.

In many cases, the anti-social behavior is glossed over by the parents with the attempted excuse that the child has ADD and is therefore uncontrollable. It truly frightens me that a parent would say that a child is "uncontrollable." Does this mean that the child should be in a locked institution? I am confused by the concept that any parent can't control a child who is perhaps 1/4 their size. If they TRULY believe that the child is uncontrollable, I pity the poor teachers in whatever school the parents place such child. Obviously, said uncontrollable child should NOT be foisted upon the rest of the community during such events as high rituals.

I have ADD. I had ADD when I was a child. I did not misbehave in public, or my parents would remove me from the situation immediately, and there would be "holy hell to pay." My boundaries and limitations were clear. When I was outside with the other kids, I could run around until the cows came home, but in public places including school, the lines were drawn with neon paint. Why is it not that way with others?

I clearly do not understand the concept of imposing one's child upon others if the child can't behave themselves. And yes, I have a child, and yes, she has misbehaved. In those cases, I have removed the child from the public situation immediately, told her that her behavior was inappropriate, and took action as befit the situation. She soon learned that disruptive behavior resulted in the opposite effect than she desired and governed herself accordingly.

Each method of parenting is different, of course, and each person has the right (within legal limitations) to bring their children up in any manner they desire. However, they do NOT have the right to impose a child upon others who has no respect for either the ritual being performed, or the rights of the group.

Perhaps a disclaimer to be signed that allows for the removal of any person who disrupts a ritual, regardless of their age, and if under 18, at least one parent must accompany said disruptive person out the door. Said removal shall take place by burly and strong individuals picking up the annoying person as quietly as possible, and tossing them out the door.

So Mote it Be!