Once upon a time, I met a man I fell in love with. I thought that it would be forever. He was open minded, had no problems being Pagan, and showed interest in my beliefs. As time went on, we had a child, we lived life, and had a pretty great time.
Then one day, things didn't work out the way I'd hoped. We split up. As part of the healing process, I turned more towards my faith and became more active in my community and with my beliefs. I had physical custody of my daughter, and she showed interest in Wicca and in what I was doing and believing. When I felt she was old enough, I gave her a few fundamental readings, and told her she could learn more as she got older and as time went on, always telling her that her school studies came first, and since her grades were poor she had to straighten those out before she would be able to do a lot of study.
Over the years, my daughter started reading more and more books on ghosts and spirits. I told her I wasn't sure if I believed in them, and that Wicca doesn't really put any emphasis on that sort of thing. She was convinced there was a ghost in her room, so I did a ritual with her and my coven sisters to "get rid" of the ghost. She also started watching lots of "ghost movies" when she wasn't with me, and started telling stories to her friends. She already had the reputation of being a bit strange and weird, so none of this really helped her popularity. I told her over and over that religion and beliefs were a private matters, and the outside world would likely not understand. She said she agreed.
Unfortunately, her agreement didn't stop her from telling ghost stories to one of her little friends, along with tidbits about the ritual she attended, the fact that her mother "is a Witch" and embellished her studies and her participation. She freaked the girl out to the point where she told her parents, who went to my ex husband. The ex threatened to take the child away from me, basically because he didn't want people to think she was "strange" or "worshipping satan" like his mother and sister thought, and did a lot of yelling and screaming at me for "exposing her" to "that stuff."
I'm not telling this story to drum up "poor me" sympathies, or raise a legal defense fund or anything like that. My goal is to make people think a bit about a few important points. The first is the nature of children and how they interact with their peers. The second is that, as a friend recently told me, sometimes we are the only ones who see the huge pink elephant standing in the room.
Children want to feel special. At a time in their lives when everything seems futile and dismal, the teenage years, this is especially so. They desperately try to differentiate themselves from others in the best way they can. Some do this by their clothing, some do this by excelling at academics, and some do it by telling stories to others to make them feel more important. With these types of children, anything unusual is embraced, amplified, and broadcast, with caution thrown to the wind.
Regardless of how little or how much you teach your child about your beliefs, some children will embellish it to the point of distortion. If someone has a beef of any sort against you, or claims to be looking out for the "best interests of the child," they will grasp onto these stories and use them against you. Your intentions, "do what thou wilt an it harm none," or any other good or wholesome beliefs of your religion will be meaningless. Even those you previously trusted will either hop onto the bandwagon of "you're all Satanists" or wave the banner of "that's what others think therefore, it must be stopped."
At this point it doesn't matter whether the child in question is well adjusted, relatively happy or otherwise fine. None of your input to the child's well roundedness will matter. Instead, your religion (if non mainstream) will be grasped upon and made the scapegoat, and all of your best intentions will fall to the floor.
So am I saying to keep your religion secret from your children? No, I'm not. I'm saying that a "witch hunt" mentality can still exist that is fueled by the lack of public information about our religion and the true facts of our beliefs. It's not a movement of "the Christians" or anyone else trying to "crush" us. It's more that our own lack of cohesion and organization works against us in keeping useful resources from us in our times of need. Children will be children. Ignorance will be ignorance. More and more of us will find ourselves in this type of predicament.
There IS a reason that some people aren't "out." We should respect those who choose that path. For those of us who haven't, be aware that we have a lot of education to provide in this world