I had an interesting conversation a few nights back on an IRC channel I frequent. The IRC channel was not about religion, however, the subject did come up, and it began a discussion between myself and someone that I have had an acquaintance for many years, who knows of my religious choices. The conversation made me think quite a bit about the misperceptions that others of limited religious knowledge hold towards Wiccans and Pagans. The various assumptions that are made about our beliefs, and our actions and feelings, can be quite disturbing, and indeed surprised and saddened me. I will try to classify some of the main points.
Ultimate Good and Ultimate Evil
My conversational partner put a great deal of stock in attempting to get me to "admit" that some actions were evil in an attempt for me to make the leap into the idea that some people are evil, and therefore there is ultimate evil. The example he brought up was the case of Andrea Yates, who drowned her 5 children in a bathtub. This egregious case, as illustration, still doesn't cause me to judge the woman involved as "evil" though I can see little "good" in that particular act. I found it rather interesting that the illustration my companion chose was one of a Christian woman with Christian upbringing and moral code who disregarded that code to cause such horror.
It was quite clear that the lack of a pure black and pure white dichotomy in Wicca was of great concern to this person, and this assisted in his view that we were somehow then in lack of a moral code and therefore some type of danger to the community. Attempts to point him to the Rede and the Five Points of Wiccan Belief failed.
Evil Forces - Self Responsibility
Further into the conversation, I was asked whether Wicca believed in an "evil force that kills innocents." While ignoring the "guilty vs. innocent" paradigm for a moment, i had to wonder what that question really meant. Belief in a force outside one's control that can kill those who do not somehow "deserve it" is only possible with an underlying belief in ultimate good and ultimate evil. What but "ultimate evil" could possibly be responsible for killing an "innocent?"
Negating human responsibility for human actions, and pinning on an outside "evil force" is not something all Christians believe, obviously. However, it seemed clear that this particular Christian did indeed, as this seemed to be his only explanation for the possibility that a "good Christian woman" could murder her own children. It remains to be seen whether the Wiccan ideal of self-responsibility should be something for Christians to fear or to embrace, since the idea that a human being can go so totally off balance as to murder her own children is in itself rather mind altering. It may be of comfort that "it won't happen to me" if one believes that an outside force is responsible.
Think of the Children
A rather underhanded way of attempting to push someone into engaging in an argument (but a usually successful one) is by bringing up a possible danger to their children. My companion in discourse tried this as well, telling me that I was doing my child a disservice by bringing her up in a "non standard" religion. Every child believes herself to be an outcast and/or misfit to some extent, and telling a parent that their actions are further isolating that child is something that most parents would take quite seriously.
The argument went something like this: if a child is "different" in any way, then the child will be ostracized and otherwise isolated. Therefore, a parent must ensure that the child is seen as "just like everyone else" so that the other children do not pick on them.
Interesting argument, but again attempts to negate responsibility for bringing up one's own child not to be a bigot. If my child were African American, she would be different. Does this mean that I should ensure that she is brought up as "White" as possible so that other children don't pick on her? Or should I instead teach my children that it is wrong to treat African Americans, or any other people in a derogatory manner based on their attributes?
Of course, my counterpart would not answer the hypothetical of whether he would raise his children Mormon if he was suddenly transferred to Salt Lake City. He instead insisted that would never happen, therefore it should never be considered. He also did not address the demographics in my area, which are far less Christian than he might have thought, with many families of Jewish, Hindu and Muslim persuasion.
So, what lessons did I draw from all of this? First, it is very difficult to overcome a perception of us that has been built up through fear. Whether that fear is actually of US or rather of learning that a long standing belief is in error is something I am attempting to reconcile in my own mind. If people that you trust have told you ad infinitum that a certain practice is "evil" and you have based your world view on this, it can indeed by quite unnerving to be confronted with contrary evidence.
I believe that fear resulting from being confronted with contradictory ideas is, at its heart, the cause of much if not most human conflict, depending, of course, on how the information is presented. Here, I believe the most threatening idea to those who are psychically repressed is that they do not HAVE to be that way. Then one must address the corresponding fear that without an external gatekeeper, the formerly repressed individual would then somehow be without moral or ethical boundaries and go forth to do "bad things."
So how do we go about being non threatening, AND assure an individual that those who follow our path are not just waiting to cause serious harm to the fabric of the world as we roam around lacking an external force hanging over our heads to police our actions? In general, I feel that the best way to do this is to set an appropriate example in our dealings with others and with the world at large. That sometimes means that we don't "lead" with "I'm a Pagan, what are you going to DO about it?"
By doing good in our own lives, by being a good friend, a good parent, a good person, who offers something to others, who assists the greater community, and who then prove that we have our own internal moral codes governing our behavior that in no way threaten theirs, I believe we will allay a lot of the fear that comes with confronting new things, and thus clear the first hurdle of fear, and begin to consider what lies beneath. And, of course, this becomes the first step towards understanding.