Non Fluffy Wicca

(from Cory Doctorow by way of John Rogers on Twitter)

[From "Don't trust anyone you meet online. You could regret it."]

[From "Don't trust anyone you meet online. You could regret it." - Wil Wheton's Blog]

Posted by mikki at 11:33 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

God Hates Phelps:

United States: Westboro Baptist Church suffered a small fire, which destroyed a garage and a fence. Members of the church think it was deliberate, though we at Prattle Towers are of the opinion that it's because God hates them.

Small fire strikes Westboro Baptist—The Wichita Eagle, 2nd August 2008.

Posted by mikki at 11:08 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Four Claiming to Belong to Court Run by 'Yahweh' Indicted for Threats Against Judge:


Four Minnesota men who claim to belong to their own common law court where "Almighty Yahweh" has exclusive jurisdiction have been charged for allegedly trying to intimidate U.S. District Judge Ann Montgomery in an effort to stop her from holding a criminal trial. The men were trying to stop the April trial of Robert Bonine Beale, the former millionaire chief executive of Comtrol Corp., who was subsequently convicted by a jury on conspiracy and tax evasion charges.

Posted by mikki at 11:47 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Yeah, right. We can trust businesses and the government with our privacy. I mean, after all, they only screw up millions of times every year releasing confidential data and personal identifiers to the world. What are the odds?

Intel official: Expect less privacy - Yahoo! News:


WASHINGTON - As Congress debates new rules for government eavesdropping, a top intelligence official says it is time that people in the United States changed their definition of privacy.

Privacy no longer can mean anonymity, says Donald Kerr, the principal deputy director of national intelligence. Instead, it should mean that government and businesses properly safeguard people's private communications and financial information.

Kerr's comments come as Congress is taking a second look at the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act.

Lawmakers hastily changed the 1978 law last summer to allow the government to eavesdrop inside the United States without court permission, so long as one end of the conversation was reasonably believed to be located outside the U.S.

The original law required a court order for any surveillance conducted on U.S. soil, to protect Americans' privacy. The White House argued that the law was obstructing intelligence gathering because, as technology has changed, a growing amount of foreign communications passes through U.S.-based channels.

The most contentious issue in the new legislation is whether to shield telecommunications companies from civil lawsuits for allegedly giving the government access to people's private e-mails and phone calls without a FISA court order between 2001 and 2007.

Some lawmakers, including members of the Senate Judiciary Committee, appear reluctant to grant immunity. Suits might be the only way to determine how far the government has burrowed into people's privacy without court permission.

The committee is expected to decide this week whether its version of the bill will protect telecommunications companies. About 40 wiretapping suits are pending.

The central witness in a California lawsuit against AT&T says the government is vacuuming up billions of e-mails and phone calls as they pass through an AT&T switching station in San Francisco.

Mark Klein, a retired AT&T technician, helped connect a device in 2003 that he says diverted and copied onto a government supercomputer every call, e-mail, and Internet site access on AT&T lines.

The Electronic Frontier Foundation, which filed the class-action suit, claims there are as many as 20 such sites in the U.S.

The White House has promised to veto any bill that does not grant immunity from suits such as this one.

Congressional leaders hope to finish the bill by Thanksgiving. It would replace the FISA update enacted in August that privacy groups and civil libertarians say allows the government to read Americans' e-mails and listen to their phone calls without court oversight.

Kerr said at an October intelligence conference in San Antonio that he finds concerns that the government may be listening in odd when people are "perfectly willing for a green-card holder at an (Internet service provider) who may or may have not have been an illegal entrant to the United States to handle their data."

He noted that government employees face up to five years in prison and $100,000 in fines if convicted of misusing private information.

Millions of people in this country — particularly young people — already have surrendered anonymity to social networking sites such as MySpace and Facebook, and to Internet commerce. These sites reveal to the public, government and corporations what was once closely guarded information, like personal statistics and credit card numbers.

"Those two generations younger than we are have a very different idea of what is essential privacy, what they would wish to protect about their lives and affairs. And so, it's not for us to inflict one size fits all," said Kerr, 68. "Protecting anonymity isn't a fight that can be won. Anyone that's typed in their name on Google understands that."

"Our job now is to engage in a productive debate, which focuses on privacy as a component of appropriate levels of security and public safety," Kerr said. "I think all of us have to really take stock of what we already are willing to give up, in terms of anonymity, but (also) what safeguards we want in place to be sure that giving that doesn't empty our bank account or do something equally bad elsewhere."

Kurt Opsahl, a senior staff lawyer with the Electronic Frontier Foundation, an advocacy group that defends online free speech, privacy and intellectual property rights, said Kerr's argument ignores both privacy laws and American history.

"Anonymity has been important since the Federalist Papers were written under pseudonyms," Opsahl said. "The government has tremendous power: the police power, the ability to arrest, to detain, to take away rights. Tying together that someone has spoken out on an issue with their identity is a far more dangerous thing if it is the government that is trying to tie it together."

Opsahl also said Kerr ignores the distinction between sacrificing protection from an intrusive government and voluntarily disclosing information in exchange for a service.

"There is something fundamentally different from the government having information about you than private parties," he said. "We shouldn't have to give people the choice between taking advantage of modern communication tools and sacrificing their privacy."

"It's just another 'trust us, we're the government,'" he said.

Posted by mikki at 01:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Ah, the truth has finally come out. I'm so glad that we now have the REAL information.

This must be why President Shrub is so adamant about amnesty for illegal aliens. Rumor has it that if Congress doesn't go along, he will enlist our Moon Alien friends to help with the war in Iraq.

Aliens forced Americans out from the Moon - Pravda.Ru:


One of Russia's central television channels, RTR, has recently aired a documentary about US astronauts who allegedly came across extraterrestrial civilizations. The film showed Russian ufologist Vladimir Azhazha and astronomer Yevgeny Arsyukhin telling that expeditions to the Moon launched within 1969-1972 allegedly came across UFOs.

The researchers state that flying objects of extraterrestrial origin were persistently spying on American Apollos. They said the expeditions to the Moon looked very much like a race and presented a film demonstrating a luminous object closely following an American spaceship. Records of communication between astronauts and the Mission Control Center were also included into the film but they were absolutely inaudible as they had been purposefully jammed by Americans. They expected that the expeditions would find something astonishing on the Moon and with the view of keeping their communication with the surface secret they encoded their messages to the MCC. When the records of communication were later deciphered it turned out that the US missions came across lunar bases, remains of space vehicles and deserted towns on the Moon.



Get the whole torrid story by clicking on the title above.

Posted by mikki at 01:30 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Harry Potter and the apostolic succession:

Some more bizarre Harry Potter material has shown up in alt.conspiracy, and it has to do with the apostolic succession the Pope was going on about the other day.

In Three Apostolic Successions (op. cit.), the sorcery powers of Jesus were discussed. These sorcery powers were passed along to Peter. Peter later had a sorcery showdown with Simon Magus. So, it is worth noting that Harry Potter also reportedly has such sorcery powers.




Locally, last evening, at midnight (and matching the magical 7/11 date), the new Harry Potter movie premiered here. Naturally, this premiere was given a front-page headline spread, in the Champaign- Urbana News-Gazette.




But seeming to forestall the Harry Potter elevation of 7/11, Pope Benedict XVI invoked some counter-sorcery of his own. Raining on the Potter Parade, Pope Benedict XVI released a document on July 10th proclaiming the Catholic Church to be the only true church. This means, in other words, Harry Potter is not the Pope. I, Benedict, am the Pope.

A few days later, the same author elaborates on the hypothesis by identifying Potter's nemesis:

Papa bin Edict has begun spiritual warfare with Lord Voldemort (Vladimir Putin). The contest was joined roughly coinciding with the numerological date of 7/11, 2007.




So-called "Dementors" have defected from the Vatican and secretly work
for Putin. Does a secret society, the Order of the Phoenix, oppose
Putin and lend support to Papa bin Edict? Or are they part of a
"Fourth Way"? Not clear at this time is the role played by Sirius
Black (Serious Black), Barack Obama.

The Harry Potter connection becomes more tenuous after this, but there are some interesting bits involving goths, monks and sodomy. Finally, there's some kind of conclusion:

Also numerologically significant is the date 7/7, 2007. At that time, the nasty house elf Kreacher, disguised as Al Gore, prestidigitated a glamour to dazzle the eyes. Kreacher belongs to the Dementors, hostile to bin Edict and in league with Putin. When the Mother Earth Glamour sorcery flopped, this marked the subsequent sorcery battle
escalations.




Harry Potter, vying with others for the papal crown, is allied with the sacred feminine. A subterfuge to cloak so-called conspiracy theories under the guise of fiction heralds the premiere of some new, acceptable, conspiracy magazine, possibly to be called The Quibbler.

Harry Potter, the Fourth Pope— alt.conspiracy, 11th July 2007; Sorceries Of Papa bin Edict— alt.conspiracy, 14th July 2007.

Posted by mikki at 10:30 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Italy behind the times:

Italy: Normally a fashion leader, Italy has waited 20 years to come up with it's own version of a familiar Satanic panic. Six people associated with a kindergarten have been arrested in connection with allegations similar to those which swept America a couple of decades ago.

Some victims spoke of esoteric and satanic rituals, where adults forced them to drink human blood, exited from wounds that the same persons caused.




The pupils described the intimate parts of the body of the arrested persons and mentioned also piercing and tattoos, which a child at such a tender age wouldn't know, if he or she has not seen them before.




The little victims described the dreadful scenes saying: In the villa where they took us, a man cut his arm and coerced us to drink his own blood which he poured in a glass, with other substances. Then they made us do a series of strange games, sort of performances with masked adults and massages to female teachers with oil.

The Catholic Church has recently been whipping up hysteria about Satanism in Italy, promoting exorcism, and church representatives have been behind outrageous stories in the press.

Italy rocked by satanic, drug-induced sexual abuse in kindergarten—Malta Star, 26th April 2007.

Posted by mikki at 03:48 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Pacifica Woman Charged For Assaulting Gay Couple With Produce - News Story - KTVU San Francisco:


SOUTH SAN FRANCISCO -- A woman accused of targeting a gay couple with a selection of produce in Pacifica in March was arraigned Friday in a South San Francisco courtroom, the San Mateo County district attorney's office reported.
Tiffany Adler, 20, is accused of heaving an assortment of apples and asparagus at the couple from the interior of a van driving past them as they walked down a city street, according to the district attorney's office.
Adler also allegedly yelled a slur at the victims, the district attorney's office reported.
Both victims were struck by the fruits and vegetables, and police investigating the incident reportedly discovered a piece of asparagus in Adler's purse, according to the district attorney's office.
On Friday, Adler pleaded not guilty to misdemeanor hate crime and battery charges.
A jury trial is scheduled to begin July 2. Adler remains out of custody on her own recognizance, the district attorney's office reported.

Posted by mikki at 01:29 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

The State | 03/31/2007 | Police blotters:


Taylor Street, 500 block: A woman called police at 9 a.m. Wednesday and said she had been assaulted by a naked man wrapped in a blanket who called himself Satan. The woman said the man was dropped off by a van at her home. He approached her wearing only a blanket and demanded his clothes. She told him he didn’t have any clothes at her house and went inside. He followed her inside, then locked himself in her bedroom with her and continued to demand his clothes. He threw her on the bed, and she began to scream until her roommates came in and pulled the man off her and threw him outside. When police arrived, the man was on the porch still wrapped in the blanket. He admitted he had been smoking crack cocaine, but Satan was the only name he would give them. He was taken to a hospital for evaluation and treatment.

Posted by mikki at 02:04 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

ABC News: Chocolate Jesus Show Canceled:


NEW YORK Mar 30, 2007 (AP)— A planned Holy Week exhibition of a nude, anatomically correct chocolate sculpture of Jesus Christ was canceled Friday amid a choir of complaining Catholics that included Cardinal Edward Egan.

The "My Sweet Lord" display was shut down by the hotel that houses the Lab Gallery in midtown Manhattan, said Matt Semler, the gallery's creative director. Semler said he submitted his resignation after officials at the Roger Smith Hotel shut down the show.

The six-foot sculpture was the victim of "a strong-arming from people who haven't seen the show, seen what we're doing," Semler said. "They jumped to conclusions completely contrary to our intentions."

But word of the confectionary Christ infuriated Catholics, including Egan, who described it as "a sickening display." Bill Donohue, head of the watchdog Catholic League, said it was "one of the worst assaults on Christian sensibilities ever."

The hotel and the gallery were overrun Thursday with angry phone calls and e-mails about the exhibit. Semler said the calls included death threats over the work of artist Cosimo Cavallaro, who was described as disappointed by the decision to cancel the display.

"In this situation, the hotel couldn't continue to be supportive because of a fear for their own safety," Semler said.

The sculpture was to debut Monday evening, the day after Palm Sunday and just four days before Roman Catholics mark the crucifixion of Jesus Christ on Good Friday. The final day of the exhibit was planned for Easter Sunday.

The artwork was created from more than 200 pounds of milk chocolate, and features Christ with his arms outstretched as if on an invisible cross. Unlike the typical religious portrayal of Christ, the Cavallaro creation does not include a loincloth.

Cavallaro is best known for his quirky work with food as art: Past efforts include repainting a Manhattan hotel room in melted mozzarella, spraying five tons of pepper jack cheese on a Wyoming home, and festooning a four-poster bed with 312 pounds of processed ham.

Posted by mikki at 07:10 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Gee, wonder how much I could get from the guy who claimed I was a Satanist.... *grin*

Be careful who you lie about:

United States: Four Amway distributors have been ordered to pay Proctor and Gamble over $19 million in compensation. The four had spread rumours that the company was involved in Satanism, and the case has dragged on for over a decade. The judge had earlier decided that Amway itself could not be held responsible for the actions of its self-employed distributors.

P&G filed suit against Randy Haugen of Ogden and three other distributors in 1995. The company charged the four had disseminated the devil-worship hoax through Amway's voice-mail system.




P&G said the Amway quartet passed along the false story that P&G's president had told a television talk show that his company was affiliated with the Church of Satan.




That never happened. But the Cincinnati-based maker of laundry detergent, soap, shampoo, toothpaste and other products claims the rumors still cost it millions of dollars in sales.

Jury awards Procter and Gamble $19 million over devil worship rumors—The Salt Lake Tribune, 19th March 2007. See also: Let sleeping myths lie—Pagan Prattle, Summer 1994, for an example of the rumour from Usenet.

Posted by mikki at 01:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

James Randi vs James Hyrdick:


Mark Frauenfelder:

On this episode of Bob Barker's That's My Line (from the 1970s), psychic-power-debunker James Randi goes after self-professed psychic James Hydrick, who says he learned everything from an old Chinese master (but he must have learned haircuts from Moe Howard).

The look on Hydrick's face when Randi sprinkles styrofoam around a phone book to show that Hydrick is blowing air through his mouth to psychically turn the page is priceless. And Hydrick's excuse as to why he can't do the stunt is even funnier.

From Wikipedia:

Hydrick's psychic powers were definitively exposed as being fraudulent by investigative journalist Dan Korem who discovered that Hydrick had developed an extraordinary talent for blowing almost undetectable but highly powerful and focussed jets of air from his mouth. Hydrick eventually confessed his fraud and admitted that he had developed his unique talent while he was in prison, and did not learn it from a Chinese master as he had originally claimed.

Posted by mikki at 06:18 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Ok folks, if you have nothing better to do than watch a webcam in hopes of seeing fairies or leprechauns, how's about doing something more productive with your time, like laughing about how ridiculous it is in a blog :-). And we wonder why people think we're flakes.....

The Leprechaun Watch WEBCAM:


The leprechaun Irish fairy watch camera is in a hidden location in a field overlooking a fairy ring in Tipperary, Ireland. In a dip in the Glen of Cloongallon, Ballyseanrath lies the fairy ring itself. It and its fairy inhabitants are shielded by trees ranged around the perimeter, mainly chestnut, with one magnificent oak over 600 years old. Over the years it provided leprechauns with acorns for their pipes and other Irish fairies with shelter. The tree is protected by an Irish fairy known as a skeaghshee or tree spirit. The camera is concealed in a cavity in its trunk, and a branch supports an antenna! If you see anything please help us by reporting your sighting!

Posted by mikki at 11:21 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

CourierPress | The Evansville Courier & Press - Evansville, Indiana:


GUATEMALA CITY (AP) -- Mayan priests will purify a sacred archaeological site to eliminate "bad spirits" after President Bush visits next week, an official with close ties to the group said Thursday.

"That a person like (Bush), with the persecution of our migrant brothers in the United States, with the wars he has provoked, is going to walk in our sacred lands, is an offense for the Mayan people and their culture," Juan Tiney, the director of a Mayan nongovernmental organization with close ties to Mayan religious and political leaders, said Thursday.

Bush's seven-day tour of Latin America includes a stopover beginning late Sunday in Guatemala. On Monday morning he is scheduled to visit the archaeological site Iximche on the high western plateau in a region of the Central American country populated mostly by Mayans.

Tiney said the "spirit guides of the Mayan community" decided it would be necessary to cleanse the sacred site of "bad spirits" after Bush's visit so that their ancestors could rest in peace. He also said the rites - which entail chanting and burning incense, herbs and candles - would prepare the site for the third summit of Latin American Indians March 26-30.

Bush's trip has already has sparked protests elsewhere in Latin America, including protests and clashes with police in Brazil hours before his arrival. In Bogota, Colombia, which Bush will visit on Sunday, 200 masked students battled 300 riot police with rocks and small homemade explosives.

The tour is aimed at challenging a widespread perception that the United States has neglected the region and at combatting the rising influence of Venezuelan leftist President Hugo Chavez, who has called Bush "history's greatest killer" and "the devil."

Iximche, 30 miles west of the capital of Guatemala City, was founded as the capital of the Kaqchiqueles kingdom before the Spanish conquest in 1524.

© 2007 The Associated Press. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed. Learn more about our Privacy Policy.

Posted by mikki at 10:39 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

See, I still don't get this. Praising their god for destroying their homes, killing a few people, etc. etc. Why would a benevolent god do something like this? It just doesn't map. Oh well, I really did like the Fark headline though :-)

Florida Worshippers gather to thank God ...:


Worshippers gather to thank God for mercifully demolishing church with his noodly tornado

Posted by mikki at 06:07 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Typo takes tourist 13,000 km out - CNN.com:


BERLIN, Germany (Reuters) -- A 21-year-old German tourist who wanted to visit his girlfriend in the Australian metropolis Sydney landed 13,000 kilometers (8,077 miles) away near Sidney, Montana, after mistyping his destination on a flight booking Web site.

Dressed for the Australian summer in T-shirt and shorts, Tobi Gutt left Germany on Saturday for a four-week holiday.

Instead of arriving "down under", Gutt found himself on a different continent and bound for the chilly state of Montana.

"I did wonder but I didn't want to say anything," Gutt told the Bild newspaper. "I thought to myself, you can fly to Australia via the United States."

Gutt's airline ticket routed him via the U.S. city of Portland, Oregon, to Billings, Montana. Only as he was about to board a commuter flight to Sidney -- an oil town of about 5,000 people -- did he realize his mistake.

The hapless tourist, who had only a thin jacket to keep out the winter cold, spent three days in Billings airport before he was able to buy a new ticket to Australia with 600 euros in cash that his parents and friends sent over from Germany.

"I didn't notice the mistake as my son is usually good with computers," his mother, Sabine, told Reuters.

Posted by mikki at 11:02 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Endless carols endless torture, groups say:


LONDON, Dec. 24 Forcing store clerks to listen to the same holiday music over and over could be akin to torture and should change, a British noise pollution group said.
The UK Noise Association and labor unions are suggesting legal action on behalf of store employees who listen to endless looped recordings of holiday music, the Observer said Sunday.
What we are saying is that, if Christmas carols are being played on the same CD repeatedly, that could create an unhealthy working environment. It must drive people to distraction, said Paul Clarke, spokesman for the Union of Shop, Distributive and Allied Workers. Exposure to the same music constantly is no different to being tortured, added Val Weedon, the noise association ' s national coordinator. Legal action could be difficult. An employment lawyer said employees would have to demonstrate that their employers could reasonably foresee any illness.
This means there would have to be some form of notice that an employee had some vulnerability to Christmas music, the ill health in question, or both, the lawyer said.

Posted by mikki at 12:49 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

You've gotta love this one...

Witch Ordered to Refund Love Spell Fee, German Court Orders Self-Proclaimed Witch to Refund Fee for Failed Love Spell - CBS News:


(AP) A German court has ordered a self-proclaimed witch to refund a disappointed client her hefty fee for a spell that failed to win back the woman's partner.

The Munich administrative court said Monday it ruled that the witch must pay back the $1,275 on the grounds she offered a service that was "objectively completely impossible."

After her boyfriend left her in 2003, the client consulted the witch on a spell that would bring him back.

"The defendant carried out the corresponding ritual over several months, each time under a full moon, but without success," a court statement said.

It said the witch denied the client's claim that she had guaranteed success.

However, the court ruled that was irrelevant because "a love ritual is not suited to influencing a person from a distance."

Neither woman's identity was released.

Posted by mikki at 08:08 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Ok... we've already seen how ridiculous some of this stuff can be. If we look for insult in everything, we will most certainly find it. The Wiccans "insulted and offended" by portrayals of witches on Halloween don't get my sympathy. Christians "insulted and offended" by the Goddess of Justice, Justitita (or Ma'at, or whomever) in front of our courts get my ridicule as well. Please....can we just get over being offended for just a little while and get on to something IMPORTANT like world hunger or the War in Iraq or whatever?

Muslim community offended by Apple's Fifth Avenue NYC Cube:

Filed under: Analysis / Opinion, Retail, Cult of Mac

Posted by mikki at 01:16 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

SubGenii challenge Hollywood cranks:

United States: The Church of the SubGenius has issued a press release declaring they are the loopiest of all the cults:

Tom Cruise is pitching for Scientology; Madonna sings the praises of Kabbalah. Strange religious groups (or cults) are in vogue in today's Hollywood. But when it comes to bizarre rituals and crackpot beliefs, even Scientology can't hold a candle to the Church of the SubGenius, a new religious movement set to take Hollywood by storm.

The Church of the SubGenius is a popular organization often seen as a parody of religious cults, including Scientology, the Raelians, the Unification Church, and racist hate groups such as Christian Identity. The organization is widely seen as a satire that mocks organized religion, or as the church describes itself, a cynisacreligion. It was founded in 1953 by a mysterious figure named J.R. Bob Dobbs, whose smiling, pipe-smoking image has been seen worldwide in chip art, graffiti, tattoos, and rock albums from performers ranging from Devo and George Clinton to Sublime.

A number of celebrities are SubGenius ministers, including former Talking Heads singer David Byrne, Penn Jillette, Robert Anton Wilson, and Pee-Wee Herman. A number of comic book artists praise the group's teachings, including legendary "underground" artists Robert Crumb and Paul Mavrides, along with Bob Burden (whose works were recently adapted into the motion picture Mystery Men). Mavrides was art director of the 1999 documentary Grass, whichy featured Woody Harrelson and many other celebrities.

In an interview with CNN, Church business manager Reverend Ivan Stang said, We're probably the only cult that admits we're ripping them off every day, and teaching them to enjoy it.

Posted by mikki at 09:58 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Bargain of the Day: Jesus perfume:

The Great Old Ones are not the only deities to have perfumes blended in Their honour. Take His Essence™ for example:

His Essence™ is a South Dakota company inspired by Psalm 45:8 - All your robes are fragrant with myrrh and aloes and cassia... The Bible verse refers to the garments of the Messiah when He returns. We carefully combine these fragrances and the result is a scent, which serves as a reminder of His Presence.

Products include candles, hand lotions and music (which presumably doesn't smell of Jesus).

Posted by mikki at 09:53 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Salt Lake Tribune - Jacob's bad luck: Is it . . . Satan?:


Jacob's bad luck: Is it . . . Satan?
Bedeviled: His business deals have been delayed, keeping him from fully funding his campaign
By Robert Gehrke
The Salt Lake Tribune

As if beating a five-term congressman wasn't hard enough, John Jacob said he has another foe working against him: the devil.
   "There's another force that wants to keep us from going to Washington, D.C.," Jacob said. "It's the devil is what it is. I don't want you to print that, but it feels like that's what it is."
   Jacob said Thursday that since he decided to run for Congress against Rep. Chris Cannon, Satan has bollixed his business deals, preventing him from putting as much money into the race as he had hoped.
   Numerous business deals he had lined up have
"You know, you plan, you organize, you put your budget together and when you have 10 things fall through, not just one, there's some other, something else that is happening," Jacob said.
   Asked if he actually believed that "something else" was indeed Satan, Jacob said: "I don't know who else it would be if it wasn't him. Now when that gets out in the paper, I'm going to be one of the screw-loose people."
   Jacob initially said the devil was working against him during a Wednesday immigration event, then reiterated his belief Thursday in a meeting with The Salt Lake Tribune editorial board.
   "There's a lot of adversity. There's no question I've had experiences that I think there's an outside force," he said.
   University of Utah political scientist Matthew Burbank said Jacob's sentiment is unusual for a political candidate and might show his inexperience, but is unlikely to be a major issue for the conservative voters he is targeting.
   "Given that, I don't think it's very likely to make a big splash among Republican primary voters, but certainly if he gets through to the general election it might come up again and he'd have to explain it more," Burbank said.

Posted by mikki at 11:27 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

KCTV5 News, Weather, Traffic and Sports for the Kansas City Area | 10-Year-Old's Bandana Causes Controversy:


SPRINGFIELD, Mo. -- If you go shopping at the Battlefield Mall in Springfield, be careful what you wear.

A 10-year-old girl got in trouble while shopping with her mom, because she had on a bandana.

Lydia Smith was wearing a bandana, decorated with peace signs, smiley faces and flowers.

A security guard approached her at the food court and said the bandanna violated the mall's code of conduct, which is "wearing apparel which is likely to provide a disturbance or embroil other groups or the general public in open conflict."

Posted by mikki at 11:30 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Thanks to Lissa for providing this wonderful and very important link to something we definitely all must have and use.

Click here to see your DESTINY

You get TWO! Bulk orders available. How WONDERFUL!

Posted by mikki at 01:23 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Darwin's spellbook:

England: An Oxford witch who claimed that a fire which damaged her flat, and several others in the same building, was caused by a spell going wrong failed to impress the jury. She was found guilty of arson and jailed for three years.

Patricia Swift, 50, said that she had been performing a ritual to ward off a man who had threatened to kill her. The ritual did not involve phoning the police, or seeking an injunction, but instead required her to place a number of items on the floor and set them on fire. When the fire went out of control, she tried urinating on it to put it out. Strangely, the incident occurred three days before Ms. Swift was due to be evicted, and her relationship with her neighbours was not good.

[Peter Coombe, prosecuting,] told the court: Rose Wallace, who lived above, described enduring a long history of abuse over a five-year period.




On the day of the fire, Miss Wallace heard the defendant making a lot of noise in her flat, throwing furniture around.




Shortly afterwards she smelled smoke and called 999. She went to the door and heard the defendant shouting, 'Fat cow, burn, fat cow, burn'.

Swift initially gave a another reason why she set the fires: I was burning my things because they are going to evict me. She made up the spell story later.

Spell for flaming disaster—Metro, 22nd May 2006 (thanks, Norman).

Posted by mikki at 10:36 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Oops.:

Scotland: A Dundee service was made considerably more entertaining when the minister popped out to powder his nose, and forgot to remove his clip on microphone first.

The Rev John Hawdon was standing in for Elizabeth Kay at Longforgan Parish Church in Perthshire.




But when nature called during a break in proceedings, he forgot to switch off his microphone, which broadcast his every splash and sigh to the congregation.




Speaking at his home in Dundee last night, Mr Hawdon said: I actually had a walk during the service, as I often do. But the congregation must have heard everything. I wasn't aware that I still had my microphone on.




A parishioner said: It was mortifying. Every sound boomed and echoed around the church. We all sat there looking at each other, totally embarrassed. One or two folk managed a wee giggle.

Minister's microphone causes a wee splash at church—The Scotsman, 19th May 2006 (thanks Roy!).

Posted by mikki at 02:13 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Christian Foes Of 'Da Vinci Code' Debate How To Fight It:


Many Christian leaders across the country are girding themselves for battle with "The Da Vinci Code," the movie based on the blockbuster novel by Dan Brown that opens on May 19. Whether Roman Catholic or Protestant, Orthodox or evangelical, they agree that the book attacks the pillars of Christianity by raising doubts about the divinity of Jesus and the origins of the Bible.



Until recently, the

Posted by mikki at 03:05 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Vatican astronomer denounces Creationism as "paganism":


Cory Doctorow:

The Vatican Astronomer (a surprisingly hoopy frood, incidentally) has denounced Creationism and the idea that the universe was created in seven days as "superstition" and "paganism" at a speech at the Glasgow Science Centre. He also called Papal Infallability a "PR disaster."

He described creationism, whose supporters want it taught in schools alongside evolution, as a "kind of paganism" because it harked back to the days of "nature gods" who were responsible for natural events.

Brother Consolmagno argued that the Christian God was a supernatural one, a belief that had led the clergy in the past to become involved in science to seek natural reasons for phenomena such as thunder and lightning, which had been previously attributed to vengeful gods. "Knowledge is dangerous, but so is ignorance. That's why science and religion need to talk to each other," he said.

"Religion needs science to keep it away from superstition and keep it close to reality, to protect it from creationism, which at the end of the day is a kind of paganism - it's turning God into a nature god. And science needs religion in order to have a conscience, to know that, just because something is possible, it may not be a good thing to do."

Link

(via Warren Ellis)

Posted by mikki at 01:46 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Your chance to own 2% of the Holy Grail:


Mark Frauenfelder:

Rock journalist Christopher Dawes and his friend/neighbor Rat Scabies (of the punk rock band The Damned) are on a serious quest to find the Holy Grail.

Scabies became interested in finding it after researching the "mystery of Rennes-le-Château," a town in France where a poor priest suddenly became fabulously wealth in the mid 19th century. Rumor has it that he discovered a treasure trove which included the Holy Grail.

Last year, Dawe's wrote an excellent book about Scabies' search for the Grail, called Rat Scabies and the Holy Grail. Scabies didn't find the Grail, but he and Dawes have not given up the search. To find their efforts, they are auctioning a 2% share of the Grail, should they find it, on eBay.

The language of the contract is excellent:

(3) If the Holy Grail manifests itself as a cup or a chalice or a bowl or some other kind of vessel for holding liquid, it is hereby agreed that:

(i) The Grail Stakeholder will be allowed one sip from the vessel of a beverage of the Grail Stakeholder’s choosing, which beverage to be provided by the Grail Stakeholder at the Grail Stakeholder’s sole expense. The Grail Stakeholder may thereby gain eternal life and the healing of all physical ailments. However, because the Grail Finders cannot be held responsible for the mysterious powers of the Grail and all that, the Grail Finders shall not be held responsible for any failure on the part of the Holy Grail to give eternal life to the Grail Stakeholder, or to alleviate physical ailments, and the Grail Stakeholder hereby warrants to make no claims of any kind against the Grail Finders in the event of such failure.

Reader comment: Tom says:

For those interested in all things Da Vinci Code, 60 Minutes ran a piece about it last week that, among other things, addressed the mystery of the "poor priest that suddenly became wealthy".

"...Where did the priest of Rennes Le Chateau, Bérenger Saunière, get the money to build his estate? In 1910 he was summoned to appear before the bishop's court in the local, medieval-walled city of Carcasonne."

"In Carcasonne, Sauniere was tried and found guilty of trafficking in masses. Priests are allowed to accept money for saying up to three masses a day. But what Saunière had done was to solicit and receive money for thousands of masses, which he couldn't possibly have said. In fact, he didn't even try. So the source of the wealth of the priest of Rennes le Chateau was not some ancient, mysterious treasure — but good old-fashioned fraud." Link

Posted by mikki at 07:42 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

WTF???: Judge in Philipines Sacked for Consulting "Mystic Dwarves":


A judge in Manila, Philipines, was fired from his position after
admitting to consulting imaginary "mystic dwarves" during
breaks.

Link to original story.

If anyone remembers a story from last year about Jeb Bush's
imaginary friend Chang, and those who remember thought the story
was a pip, this should be right up your alley: A judge in the
Philipines who claims he can see...

Posted by mikki at 07:54 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

All righty then.... all you lottery winners out there, if you want to give 5,000 to ME, well I'll just accept it and keep my mouth shut. I'll also provide a free blessing.

wcr:05/08/2006 — Title:


Once a Winnipeg woman hit a jackpot of $1.8 million in the Super 7 and decided to give the Church $5,000. Her pastor, Father Darrin Gurr, rejected the offering because it wasn't generous enough.

"I'm sorry but I cannot accept your gift," he told the woman. "If I accept your gift I probably would be doing malpractice because I would be giving you the impression that you are being generous. This is not generosity; this is a token gift."

He suggested the woman give around five per cent of her earnings to the Church and a similar amount to the community. His fellow priests thought he was crazy to reject the woman's gift.

But to their surprise, the woman returned a couple of weeks later with a cheque for $80,000 for the church. And she gave an additional $80,000 to inner city charities to fund a two-day food basket for street people.

Posted by mikki at 10:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Durant Democrat:


A woman claiming she was a witch who wasn't there may wish that to be true after being booked into the Bryan County Jail Monday.

Sheriff's Deputy John Hoffpair responded to a call in Mead at approximately 7 p.m. Monday when a person on Cypress Street in Lakewood Ranchette complained that a woman was running through the woods screaming that she was a witch.

When Hoffpair arrived on the scene, he found the woman sleeping on the caller's front porch, according to the report. The caller claimed not to know the woman and said he wanted her off the property.

Hoffpair woke up the suspect, who immediately claimed she was not there. According to the report, when she realized she was talking to a law enforcement officer, she said she needed to speak to him in private.

According to the report, she admitted to using meth the day before and had a smell of alcohol on her.

The suspect was arrested for public intoxication. According to the report, after she was placed in the car she became verbally abusive but was booked into the jail without incident.

Posted by mikki at 11:04 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

KRT Wire | 05/02/2006 | Think tank scrambling to rebound after intelligent-design ruling:


SEATTLE - When a federal judge stopped intelligent design from being taught in a Pennsylvania school district in December, the concept's chief advocates issued a quick and pointed response.

U.S. District Judge John Jones was an activist judge whose opinion shows he's misinformed and biased, said officials at the Discovery Institute, a Seattle think tank that promotes intelligent design as a challenge to Charles Darwin's theory of evolution.

The only comfort they found in the stinging rebuke was that the ruling would carry no weight beyond Dover, Pa.

They were right in that, without an appeal to higher court, the case sets no legal standard beyond the central Pennsylvania region where Jones' court has jurisdiction. But nearly five months after the ruling, the Discovery Institute is fighting to control fallout from the decision.

"Dover is a disaster in a sense, as a public-relations matter," said Bruce Chapman, a former Seattle city councilman and founder of the Discovery Institute, the country's primary supporter of intelligent design. "It has given a rhetorical weapon to the Darwinists to say a judge has settled this," he said.

Posted by mikki at 10:44 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Bargain of the Day: Scripture Solitaire:

Bored with solitaire, well Curry K. Software have added a whole new dimension with their Scripture Solitaire.

Scripture Solitaire transforms the game of Solitaire into a word game that helps players become familiar with Bible verses. Instead of the normal card rank (King, Queen, etc.), each card has a short phrase. When the phrases are all put together in order, they form a verse.




But Scripture Solitaire does more than simply merging the Bible with a card game. In addition to entertaining and uplifting, it serves as a powerful aid to learning and memorizing scriptures. You'll also discover that Scripture Solitaire's unique game play is conducive to meditating deeply on the verse you are playing.

Available for the Macintosh and Windows for a mere $14.95, and a demo too, but surely a gateway to gambling?

Posted by mikki at 12:07 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

CJAD 800 : News:


TEHRAN, Iran (AP) - Iran's hard line President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad warned on Tuesday Iran would "cut the hand of any aggressor" and insisted the country's military had to be ready with the most modern technology.
"Today, you are among the world's most powerful armies because you rely on God," Ahmadinejad declared at a parade to commemorate Army Day. "Iran's enemies know your courage, faith and commitment to Islam and the land of Iran has created a powerful army that can powerfully defend the political borders and the integrity of the Iranian nation and cut the hand of any aggressor and place the sign of disgrace on their forehead," Ahmadinejad said.

Posted by mikki at 11:51 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Post-Rapture Post:

United States: While most people are pondering ways to repel the annoyingly over righteous from their doorsteps at the crack of dawn, a couple of lads from Idaho saw an opportunity in taking advantage of the superstitions of others.

Noticing that the wacky American fairy tale of the Rapture was getting wide notice from many unthinking cult members, they decided to set up a service called Post-Rapture Post that allows the gullible to pay a fee to have a personal I told you so letter hand-delivered to their non-cult member friends and family who have been left behind.

Just write your letter and it will be hand-delivered immediately following the exodus of the pure from the Earth. But you must be thinking to yourself, How can the letters be delivered after the Rapture? The answer is simple. The creators of this site are Atheists. That's right, we don't believe in God. How else would we be able to deliver your correspondence after the Rapture?

Pure genius.

Additional tags: rapture.

Posted by mikki at 08:50 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Work of literature not banned by US school board:

United States: In a surprising decision, given recent events, a school board in San Antonio, Texas, has decided not to ban Margaret Atwood's 1985 classic The Handmaid's Tale. Superintendent Ed Lyman had banned the book from the advanced English curriculum, but the school board overturned the decision.

If we do ban The Handmaid's Tale because of sexual content, then why not ban Huckleberry Finn for racism? Why not ban The Crucible for witchcraft? Why not ban The Things They Carried for violence, and why not ban the Bible and argue separation of church and state? Judson senior Craig Gagne told trustees.

As well as complaining that the book was sexually explicit, Lyman insisted it was offensice to Christians. Well, I suppose if you are a barking mad fundie, I suppose it would be offensive to read a fictional reminder of what a society run according your interpretation of The Big Book of Fairy Tales would be like.

School board reverses ban on Handmaid's Tale—Houseton Chronicle, 24th March 2006.

Additional tags: Christianity, education.

Posted by mikki at 10:13 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Hey! Now that goes too far. I love my parrots. The Gods love my parrots. Feh!
God punishes birds over gay rights:

Israel: A rabbi has declared that an outbreak of bird flu in Israel is the work of God. According to Rabbi David Basri, God is angry with some of the more left-leaning political parties.

The bird flu outbreak stemmed from far-left political parties strengthening and encouraging homosexuality, Rabbi Basri's son quoted him as saying.

One of the parties aired an election commercial depicting two brides kissing. Some campaign advertisements also called for homosexual marriages to be legalized in Israel

According to suspicions, the Batzris allegedly made the racist comments at the conference which was held to rally support against the establishment of a bilingual school for Jewish and Arab students in the heart of the Pat neighborhood.

Rabbi David Batzri said, the establishment of such a school is a despicable and sinful act. An Arab cannot contaminate what is pure. It is forbidden to blend darkness and light. The nation of Israel is pure and the Arabs are a nation of donkeys. They are an evil disaster, an evil devil, and a nasty affliction.

Rabbi Yitzhak Batzri said, The Arabs are donkeys and beasts. They want to take our girls. They are endowed with true filthiness. There is pure and there is impure and they are impure.

Additional tags: Judaism, homosexuality, homophobia, racism.

Posted by mikki at 01:21 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Editorial: Drama Teacher Resigns; Classic Plays Too Much for Small Town:


A drama teacher has offended some Christians' delicate
sensibilities and has decided to resign rather than be forced
out...

To call Fulton, Missouri regressive might be the understatement
of the century. Or more correctly, it might be the
understatement of several centuries. Even the radical mores of
the 16th century are too much.

Fulton High School drama teacher Wendy...

Posted by mikki at 11:47 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Oh goody! I'll buy 6 for my bestest pals :-)

Electronic crucifix broadcasts Lord's Prayer:


Mark Frauenfelder:

"Crucifix NG (Next Generation) is the principal work of the Faith-Based Electronics Group at the Interactive Televangelist Program (ITP). Crucifix NG is a printed electronic circuit board in the shape of a crucifix. This handheld, wall-mountable device houses a battery-operated transmitter that broadcasts an ASCII, non-denominational version of the Lord's Prayer at 916 megahertz. (916 has no numerological significance - it is simply a function of the availability of low-cost transmission chips within this FCC license-free bandwidth.)"
Link(Thanks, Arwen!)

Posted by mikki at 10:27 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Amusing Ways not to get a job at the CIA...:


Ways not to get a job at the CIA: Tell the guard that God sent you, and then assume a fighting stance when he says go away

Posted by mikki at 07:33 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Cool Early humans probably peaceful; pro...:


Early humans probably peaceful; probably had calloused feet from self-propelled cars

Posted by mikki at 07:30 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Morons in the News: Pat Robertson Opens Mouth:


Televangelist and failed soothsayer Pat Robertson claims that
Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon's recent stroke was
punishment from God...

You might remember Pat Robertson from predictions for 2005 like
"the American stock market is going to surge upward" and
outragous claims like gays, abortion and the ACLU brought about
the terrorist attacks in September of 2001, that abortion
and...

Posted by mikki at 02:11 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

God asked to overturn election:

Norway: Jan Hanvold doesn't like democracy, especially if the pesky electorate doesn't vote the way he wants them to. So, what is a fundie preacher to do? Ask his imaginary friend to bring down the government, of course.

The Labor Party and the Center Party we can swallow, but the Socialist Left stands for a de-Christianizing stance that we just cannot support, Hanvold said on his live program on Thursday evening, the Christian newspaper Magazinet reports.




Several Christians have asked to pray for the government, but I pray for a Cabinet crisis, Hanvold said. The recent Socialist Left party call to boycott Israel was the final straw.

Praying for Cabinet crisis—Aftenposten, 2nd December 2005.

Posted by mikki at 11:14 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Newsday.com: Exorcism Course Continues at Vatican: "

By Associated Press

October 14, 2005, 11:20 AM EDT

ROME -- A Vatican-recognized university is offering a course in exorcism and demonic possession for a second year, concerned about the devil's lure -- particularly among young Italians.

Standing in solemn prayer, around 120 priests, lay people and theology students began the course that is intended to clear up misconceptions and understand what makes people turn to the occult.

The opening class of the "Exorcism and Prayer of Liberation" on Thursday at the Pontifical Academy Regina Apostolorum featured lectures about liturgical and spiritual aspects of Satanism and problems related to exorcism.

"The aim of this course is to express a clear vision of the phenomenon," said Italian Bishop Andrea Gemma, a leading exorcist who delivered the opening lecture.

"Exorcism ... is an important prayer of the church to help those who believe to be, or who really are suffering from a diabolic infestation," he told his audience.

Lectures, which will be broadcast via video to other pontifical institutes, focus on subjects that range from theological and historical aspects of Satanism to legal and medical issues.

The course is being offered for the second year, after an introductory session was held on February.

Pope Benedict XVI welcomed a large group of Italian exorcists who visited the Vatican on Sept. 14 and encouraged them to carry on in their work "in the service of the church."

Exorcism, the Roman Catholic rite in which demons are expelled from "possessed" persons, is usually administered by priests with the permission of a bishop.

"Devil's action is much more common than people may think," Gemma said, adding that he performs at least four exorcisms a week. He also said that youngsters were particularly at risk.

A former papal aide, the late Cardinal Jacques Martin, wrote in his memoirs that Pope John Paul II performed the exorcism rite in 1982, on an Italian woman who was screaming and writhing.

When the first course opened in February, Italy was gripped by a gruesome case in which members of a Satanic sect being investigated in the deaths of three people. Two people were later convicted in the murders, which occurred in woods near Milan.

In recent years, police have discovered sites in the Castelli hill towns outside Rome where they say Satanic cult followers hold black Masses.

The Rev. Gabriele Nanni, an exorcist and lecturer of the course, told The Associated Press that there are four widely accepted signs of possession, such as "speaking in unknown languages, showing a disproportionate physical strength beyond one's natural capacity, the repulsion to sacred things such as crucifix and prayers and knowledge of events that have happened far away, in terms of times and places." Some of the signs were depicted in the 1973 movie, "The Exorcist."

Students received a paper detailing a 10-point guide to recognize and prevent interest in the occult. It included a suggestion to parents to monitor whether their children were wearing strange pendants or T-shirts, if they listen to loud music on their home stereos, or watch too many horror movies.

(Via Newsday.)

Posted by mikki at 12:00 PM | Permalink

A pocket-sized book published by the Catholic Truth Society in the UK addresses Catholic attitudes to extra-terrestrial life.

Independent Catholic News reports that with increasing numbers of people believing not only in the possibility of intelligent life on other planets, but even claiming encounters with aliens, it is not surprising that the Catholic Church is beginning to explore what effect the discovery of sentient ETs might have on Christian theology.

In: Intelligent Life in the Universe? Catholic belief and the search for extraterrestrial intelligent life, author Guy Consolmagno SJ, asks:

• Would humans recognise intelligent life if we saw it?
• Could we communicate with it? Should we even try?
• Is Original Sin something that affects all intelligent beings?
• Is Jesus Christ's redemption valid for intelligent beings throughout the universe?
• or would other worlds have their own version of Jesus?
• Would the Church send missionaries to ET planets?

Guy Consolmagno SJ, a Jesuit religious brother and astronomer, divides his year between the Vatican's observatory in Arizona and its older observatory at the Pope's summer residence, Castel Gandolfo, in the hills outside of Rome.

Brother Guy has advanced degrees in planetary science from MIT and the University of Arizona. He spends his time observing comets and asteroids, and does experiments with the Vatican's vast collection of meteorites one of the largest in the world. He is one of a dozen Jesuit astronomers doing this work. The order been engaged in astronomy since before Galileo.

SOURCE Vatican astronomer asks: could you baptise an extra-terrestrial? (Independent Catholic News 11/10/05)

LINKS (not necessarily endorsed by Church Resources)
Catholic Truth Society

Posted by mikki at 09:49 PM | Permalink

Madonna Incurs the Wrath of the Rabbis -- Beliefnet.com: "Madonna Incurs the Wrath of the Rabbis A song on her new album is about a 16th-century scholar of Kabbalah, but some don't think it's kosher.

The Independent

London, Oct. 11 - Madonna, the middle-aged queen of pop and Kabbalah enthusiast, has run into problems with rabbis in Israel over a song on her forthcoming album about the 16th-century scholar who founded the modern version of the Jewish cult.

The song in question is called 'Isaac' and is believed to be about Isaac or Yitzhak Luria, a scholar born in Jerusalem in 1534. The track is on Madonna's forthcoming album Confessions on a Dance Floor, which is due to be officially released on November 15.

But an Israeli newspaper has reported that some rabbis have reacted strongly to the news that Madonna has written a song about Luria and have accused her of trying to cash in on the association with him. One has gone so far as to suggest Madonna will suffer divine retribution for her actions. It is not clear whether any of these rabbis have heard the offending track.

Rabbi Rafael Cohen, head of a seminary named after Luria in the northern town of Safed, told the Maariv newspaper: 'There is a prohibition in Jewish law against using the holy name of our master, the Sage Isaac, for profit.'

He added: 'One can feel only pity at the punishment that she will receive from heaven. The Sage Isaac is holy and pure, and immodest people cannot sing about him.'

Another rabbi, Israel Deri, who serves as deputy chair of the Religious Sites Authority, which oversees Luria's burial site, called for Madonna to be thrown out of the community. 'Such a woman brings great sin on Kabbalah. I hope that we will have the strength to prevent her from bringing sin upon the holiness of [Luria],' he said.

The track was written by Madonna and co-producer Stuart Price. It contains a reading by Yitzhak Sinwani, of the London Kabbalah Centre near Bond Street, which Madonna has attended with her husband, Guy Ritchie, the British film-maker. The centre yesterday failed to return a telephone call seeking comment.

Neither Madonna nor her spokeswoman have commented on the dispute. On her website, Madonna says: 'Confessions on a Dance Floor is all about having a good time straight through and non-stop ... I want people to jump out of their seats.'

Madonna, trying to recover from her 2003 album American Life, which was her worst selling, was born a Catholic but in recent years has been attracted to Kabbalah. She has reportedly adopted the Hebrew name Esther, wears a red string around her wrist to ward off the 'evil eye' and has introduced other celebrities to the cult. In 2004, she made a widely-publicized visit to Israel and visited many sites important to Kabbalah, but did not travel north to Luria's grave.

The interest of such celebrities has sparked criticism among many of the rabbis who specialize in studying and teaching Kabbalah. Jewish tradition holds that Kabbalah is so powerful that students may not approach it until after the age of 40. Among its elements are mystical meanings which are drawn from holy books by recombination of letters and other signs."

(Via Belief Net.)

Posted by mikki at 09:37 PM | Permalink

Brothers fined for keeping 'pet ghost': "A village council in eastern India has fined two brothers for keeping a pet ghost. Iswar and Haripada Murmu, of Akshaypur in West Bengal, were accused of owning a ghost after one of their wives died. An exorcist summoned by villagers claimed the brothers' pet ghost was 'responsible for a recent outbreak of disease in the locality'. Village elders said they were bringing evil to the village and fined them the equivalent of £360, reports the Deccan Chronicle. The paper reports that the brothers had to mortgage their agricultural land to raise the money."

(Via WiccanWeb.ca.)

Posted by mikki at 02:34 PM | Permalink

This is rather cute :-)

How to Become a Witch in Nine Easy Lessons: "In the 1980's it was fashionable to be interested in the New Age. This is now a dreadful faux pas within the alternative scene, and in order to be accepted in the 1990's metaphysical social set, one must have an interest in Witchcraft or Paganism. Of course, you don't have to actually belong to a coven in order to be thought of as a Witch; you can bluff your way into being accepted as a fully fledged Witch by knowing a few terms and dressing accordingly. This brings us to...

Rule #1: Image Is Everything. After all, what's the good of being a Witch if nobody knows you are one? You must therefore wear black at all times. If possible, stay out of the sun until you become really pale, as this makes the effect even better. For women (and adventurous males), dark eyeliner and black nail polish can enhance this look. Also wear crystals and cheap occult paraphernalia at all times, and make sure that these are as gaudy and bizarre as possible, as this can only help your image."

(Via WiccanWeb.ca.)

Posted by mikki at 11:13 PM | Permalink

Get the T-shirt: "

United States: Bobby Henderson felt moved to write an Open Letter to Kansas School Board after he learned of a hearing to determine whether creationism intelligent design should be taught in the state's schools. His worry? that students will only hear one theory of Intelligent Design:

Let us remember that there are multiple theories of Intelligent Design. I and many others around the world are of the strong belief that the universe was created by a Flying Spaghetti Monster. It was He who created all that we see and all that we feel. We feel strongly that the overwhelming scientific evidence pointing towards evolutionary processes is nothing but a coincidence, put in place by Him.

After presenting a more thorough exposition of this startling hypothesis, and an explanation of the importance of piratical regalia, he offers something that Biblical creationists can't: hard data.

You may be interested to know that global warming, earthquakes, hurricanes, and other natural disasters are a direct effect of the shrinking numbers of Pirates since the 1800s. For your interest, I have included a graph of the approximate number of pirates versus the average global temperature over the last 200 years. As you can see, there is a statistically significant inverse relationship between pirates and global temperature.

(via The Magician).

(Via The Pagan Prattle Online.)

Posted by mikki at 11:23 PM | Permalink

Perhaps I'm being overly pessimistic or critical. Perhaps I'm just being a horrible nasty brittle person who doesn't know what she's talking about? But all I can do is speak my mind, what I have observed over the years, and report what I see. And what I see is that we are sabotaging ourselves.

As I watch this list of annoying things on parade, I have to wonder whether or not the "perpetrators" understand that their actions are certainly not in furtherance of our religion although it definitely may be in furtherance of something else. It would definitely be nice if they would at least read what I have to say and consider it before their next installment of sabotaging behavior.

In any case, here's my list of horribles:

1. Dilution and Adulteration for "Inclusiveness" - While it is true that no one group can lay claim to the definition of Wicca, there are some aspects of the religion that MUST exist in order for it to actually be Wicca.

So, after consulting with various and sundry other people, we came up with the following definition of Wicca:

Wicca is a polytheistic religion of diverse origins grounded upon duality of Deity as masculine and feminine, immanent and transcendent. Wiccans see themselves as an integral part of Deity, and worship Gods in whichever form They present themselves.

Now before anyone starts yelling at me, keep in mind that this is my blog and my opinion. You are more than entitled to disagree with me, post comments to that effect, call me names, or whatever else makes you happy. I see my job here as prodding others to think. If you are ranting at me, you are obviously thinking about what I had to say. Fine enough.

So, to me anyway, to be Wiccan, one must be polytheistic, believe in Deity as masculine and feminine, immanent AND transcendent, and that one is an integral part of Deity. If one does not understand those concepts, or disagrees with those concepts, that is perfectly fine. Nobody HAS to believe it. Every entity has the right to believe whatever they choose. But what they do NOT have the right to do is to redefine an established religion for their own purposes.

And this is one of my biggest pet peeves. You have many people who feel that it is perfectly ok to blend 2 or 3 different religions (not just practices from religions, but religions themselves) and call it [fill in the blank] Wicca. It doesn't seem to matter to them that [fill in the blank] religion is openly hostile towards Wicca, or sometimes towards any other religion for that matter. They somehow think that putting the name on it will somehow magickally blend everything just right and all will be well. Well, no it won't, and how DARE you belittle my faith in that manner? How can we have Wicca of any sort when groups feel they need to chip away at it? Our definitions of Wicca are loose enough as they are without adding "anything that we feel convenient with at the time, regardless of whether it is polytheistic, grounded in duality of Deity, or roundly disbelieves in the immanence of Gods?

Another serious pet peeve in the light of dilution of faith is the idea that Wicca must be extended to include even those who do not have the capacity to understand the responsibilities inherent in the religion, or even those who are capable of making the CHOICE to follow Wicca. In many cases (though not all) you find that the advocates of this idea are those who are charging money for classes, or "registration" of some kind, or to attend rituals. These groups often wish to include children in their "rolls."

I have to ask "why?" The general answer I have received is that "other religions count children as adherents." My response is we are not like other religions. Wicca requires an active participation with full knowledge and full responsibility. It is not a passive religion where you bring your children to be indoctrinated at an early age, and continue forcing them to attend services so they don't "go to hell." Children do not have the capacity to understand enough about Wicca to make an informed choice, nor do they have the capacity to understand the responsibility inherent in following the Rede, the Law of Return, or the Ethic of Self Responsibility. Many don't even have the capacity to understand the responsibility of not disrupting ritual, but that's a completely separate argument.

Religion "In Your Face" - The "in your face" brand of religion is the stereotypical long black fingernails, goth like makeup, wearing only black, 13 inch silver pentacle, huge Triple Goddess tattooed person with the Baphomet, and the "Fear Me, I'm a Witch" bumper sticker. These types *wear* Wicca rather than practice it. Yes, these people have the perfect right to dress this way, act this way, and be this way and even sometimes smell this way. However, they are sabotaging the rest of us. If I don't take them seriously, and I'm pretty open minded (although not to the point where my brains fall out of my ears), what does the rest of the world think? Inevitably, if a reporter goes to a Wiccan function, especially if video is involved, they will seek out the most outrageous looking person possible to represent Wiccans to the rest of the world. If this person happens to have spent 90% of their religious study checking out where to get garb, how to put on make-up and how can we keep your nails from chipping, think they'll be a good advocate for the rest of us? To most mundanes, the stereotype becomes the reality. If *I* avoid them, and I'm pretty damn Wiccan, what do the "non believers" think? If you want to be taken seriously as a spiritual being, dressing in funny costumes and skipping down the yellow brick road ain't the way to do it. Neither will holding your bondo buggy together with bumper stickers.

Wicca For Money This one is pretty controversial, I know. And I didn't used to think that charging money to learn Wicca was inherently a bad thing. Then I took a good look around. There are people out there charging multiple thousands of dollars for your 3rd Degree Clergy status. Way back when, when I was neck deep in the world of martial arts, there was a similar but not identical conundrum in play. How could one charge a certain amount of money in exchange for a degree (or a black belt) when one had no way of knowing in advance whether the person would be able to physically or emotionally capable or achieving their goal. Meantime, the person would have a sense of entitlement because they had paid so much money.

To a much lesser sense, but still non trivially, payment "as you go" for lessons in Wicca also is problematic. I've personally seen many cases where it has become increasingly clear that a candidate for Clergy or for a certain Degree of whatever, would not be capable of achieving their goal. However, because they had paid money, both teacher AND student were unwilling to accept the inevitable, until major hard feelings were created. And then, because money had changed hands, it was somehow more of a "betrayal" when the student was finally dismissed. Money also causes much more external scrutiny by legal entities, the Better Business Bureau, and other regulatory bodies which then brings a further myriad of nasties upon the whole situation.

It hasn't escaped my observation that there seems to be a correlation between money and numbers, in that many of the groups who charge want to see many more people identify as Wiccan IN THEIR TRADITIONS. Coincidence? Dunno, what do YOU think?

Posted by mikki at 04:32 PM | Permalink

What Would Jesus Dolls Say?: "A talking Jesus doll is due in stores in May, along with versions of Moses and the Virgin Mary, according to a published report Tuesday."

(Via CNN.com.)

Posted by mikki at 08:09 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

The Party of Moderate Progress within the Bounds of the Law goes radical: "

United States: Jon Carroll, of the San Francisco Chronicle, has received a mysterious message via an anonymous spam remailer, purporting to be from a shadowy organisation called the Unitarian Jihad. It makes extremely undisturbing reading:

Greetings to the Imprisoned Citizens of the United States! Too long has your attention been waylaid by the bright baubles of extremist thought. Too long have fundamentalist yahoos of all religions (except Buddhism -- 14-5 vote, no abstentions, fundamentalism subcommittee) made your head hurt. Too long have you been buffeted by angry people who think that God talks to them. You have a right to your moderation! You have the power to be calm! We will use the IED of truth to explode the SUV of dogmatic expression!

And how does this Jihad plan to implement its unterrifying aims?

Beware! Unless you people shut up and begin acting like grown-ups with brains enough to understand the difference between political belief and personal faith, the Unitarian Jihad will begin a series of terrorist-like actions. We will take over television studios, kidnap so-called commentators and broadcast calm, well-reasoned discussions of the issues of the day. We will not try for balance by hiring fruitcakes; we will try for balance by hiring non-ideologues who have carefully thought through the issues.

We are Unitarian Jihad. We will appear in public places and require people to shake hands with each other. (Sister Hand Grenade of Love suggested that we institute a terror regime of mandatory hugging, but her motion was not formally introduced because of lack of a quorum.) We will require all lobbyists, spokesmen and campaign managers to dress like trout in public. Televangelists will be forced to take jobs as Xerox repair specialists. Demagogues of all stripes will be required to read Proust out loud in prisons.

Jon Carroll - San Francisco Chronicle, 8th April 2005 (via various LiveJournals).

(Via The Pagan Prattle Online.)

Posted by mikki at 11:08 AM | Permalink

Wedding celebrations mistaken for alien invasion: "

England: Police and Stansted Airport received a number of worried calls after a couple launched around 70 Thai lanterns to celebrate their wedding.

But the release of some 60 to 70 illuminated Thai lanterns into the night sky over Leez Priory, near Felsted, sparked fears that aliens were on their way...

...A police spokesman said that one caller reported a large amount of red lights in batches of five or six lights over Bannister Green on the evening of Monday, March 21.

Other callers contacted Stansted Airport concerned that extra-terrestrial activity was about to land.

The situation was eventually resolved when the airport's control tower identified the source of the strange lights.

Wedding lanterns spark UFO scare - Epping Forest Guardian, 3rd April 2005.

(Via The Pagan Prattle Online.)

Posted by mikki at 09:23 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

This is just plain HILARIOUS

The caption to this photo from the United Church of Christ reads:

SpongeBob meets with the Rev. John H. Thomas, the UCC's general minister and president, in his office. Explains Thomas, "No matter who you are or where you are on life's journey, SpongeBob, you're welcome here."

This one of series of photos illustrating SpongeBob's visit to UCC after his encounter with the "Focus on Family" Group.

A concerned reader asks:

"Infringement? Dilution? Or just a sponge in a church?"

Posted by mikki at 04:16 PM | Permalink

Someone please tell me this is a joke. What is wrong with these absolute nutcases?

Accusing the sponge of appearing in a "pro-homosexual video,"
the religious right appears to have sunk to a new low...

Focus on the "Family" and the American "Family" Association have
a new target in their never-ending war on gays: Spongebob
Squarepants. Yes, they're bound and determined to oppose a
cartoon sponge. James Dobson told the guests at a formal dinner
to... [Morons Dot Org]

Posted by mikki at 10:06 AM | Permalink

Gee, let's waste more taxpayers money trying to push a misguided and stupid agenda of the Christian right.

A suburban Atlanta school district Monday decided to appeal a federal judge's ruling that it must remove from biology textbooks stickers that refer to evolution as "a theory not a fact." [CNN.com - Law]

Posted by mikki at 12:08 PM | Permalink

http://www.cheesyjesus.com/index.asp?PageAction=VIEWPROD&ProdID=9

Posted by mikki at 08:25 AM | Permalink

Going to church could seriously damage your health, according to researchers at Maastricht University. The air inside a church contains high levels of carcinogens and up to 20 times the European limit of PM10s.

The researchers analysed the particulate matter concentration found in the air of a small chapel and a large basilica in Maastricht following lengthy use of candles or a simulated service in which incense was burned.

Fine particulate matter is a major ingredient in air pollution. Consisting of solid particles with a diameter of 10 microns or less, it contains different types of toxic chemicals, including soot, metals and various carcinogenic molecules.

The particles can penetrate very deep into the lungs and trigger various lung and heart conditions.

The researchers found that, after nine hours of candle-burning, the church air had PM10 levels of 600 to 1000 micrograms per cubic metre - more than four times higher than before the start of the first morning mass.

This represents 12 to 20 times the European allowed average concentration over 24 hours.

The study also found very high concentrations of polycyclic aromatic hydrocarbons, also known to be carcinogenic.

Will the Irish government use EU legislation to ban incense in churches (which are, after all, a workplace) the same way it's banned smoking in pubs? Will wayside pulpits be replaced with health warnings, and will churches which advertised without mentioning the dangers be liable for damages?

Church air is 'threat to health' - BBC News, 20th November 2004 (thanks to Novice Nun the Wiser).

Posted by mikki at 11:18 AM | Permalink

Taiwan: Most people know that annoying lions or other large carnivores will usually result in a clue being administered by said beasties. One loony fundie didin't and on a visit to the Taipei Zoo decided that a bit of evangelical zeal was just what the lions needed. They didn't, but they did give the nutjob a good gnawing for his troubles.

A man with psychological problems leapt into the lions' den at Taipei zoo yesterday to try to convert the king of beasts to Christianity.

He was bitten on the leg and arm for his efforts.

Jesus will save you! the 46-year-old man shouted at two lions lounging under a tree a few yards away at Taiwan's main zoo.

Obviously Chen's imaginary friend didn't save him, perhaps he was trying to teach the silly sod a lesson about the dangers of teasing lions.

Posted by mikki at 11:19 AM | Permalink

The days when religion bumps up against the wall of intellectual property has been reached, and we must all be very afraid. As most readers of Kestra's liberal rantings already know, copyright has often been used as a club to stop people from saying things they might wish to. In this episode, we find that you can copyright the messages of a god so nobody else can channel him. Oh how fun!

Read the whole story here

Posted by mikki at 08:42 PM | Permalink

Israel: This morning I (as in the Pagan Prattle person, not the Peculiar Kestra) woke up to an amusing story at the tail end of the news, the place where they dump the saccharine and strange. It seems there's been a punch-up in the Church of the Holy Sepulchre.

Roman Catholic and Orthodox clerics have exchanged blows inside Jerusalem's Church of the Holy Sepulchre, one of Christianity's holiest sites.

The punch-up began after Greek and Russian Orthodox believers took offence at a door left open by members of the Franciscan order during a service.

At least five people were injured in the fracas — including Israeli police officers called in to quell it.

The church is shared jealously by six rival Christian sects.

This moronity has been going on for centuries. It was so bad back in the 12th century that Saladin handed the guardianship of the key to the only entrance to the church over to two Muslim families in 1178 in an attempt to stop the six Christian sects squabbling with each other. It seems some things never change.

Jerusalem clerics in punch-up row - BBC, 27th September 2004.

Posted by mikki at 01:22 PM | Permalink

Cue Twilight Zone Theme

England: Hertford is where it's at as far as the conspiracy is concerned. According to a 'documentary' to be shown on Sky this week, the town is home to both the Knights Templar and the Illuminati!

Tim belongs to a high-ranking family in the Knights Templar, a powerful society of warrior monks which dates back to the Crusades -- and who still meet at a secret location in the town.

But he denied a link with former US Secretary of State Dean Acheson, a well-known Templar, who was in President Harry S Truman's inner circle during the 1950s.

Cryptically, he told the Mercury: I cannot talk about my family connections. The older members of secret societies want to keep them secret, whereas some of the new blood is a bit more open.

I do know two members of the Illuminati who live here, but I must protect their identities.

There are powerful and dangerous forces at work here and I cannot risk getting on the wrong side of them.

Town may be a base for secret society - Hertfordshire Mercury - not dated, believed to be 17th September 2004.

Posted by mikki at 08:59 AM | Permalink

Thanks to Verde for this lovely gem. Ever wished you could push the "off" button on preaching evangelists when you're a captive audience? One person did in a manner I suggest we all adopt as soon as possible.

From this very funny live journal

This morning I had the most bizarre subway ride. I board the Number 3 train at Grand Army Plaza after 9 a.m. Find a seat, then settle into reading Henry James for class. I hear a woman’s voice gradually rising in volume. She is preaching the “Lord’s” word to the train car’s sleepy riders. Of course, I had forgotten the headphones for my subway evil sounds blocking device. The train stops and starts. The words denigrating “gay devils” reach my ears. I stand up.

More

Posted by mikki at 10:59 PM | Permalink

Oh NOOOO! More PROOF!!

England: A rather unusual crop formation has appeared in a Wiltshire field. The Hello Kitty crop circle was created by Circlemakers and New York artists surface2air to celebrate her 30th birthday and is approximately 60m in diameter. The photo is by Steve Alexander, whose web site includes a lot of impressive aerial photos of crop formations. (via Simon).

Update: Just noticed this was the 1500th entry in the Prattle. Must be a conspiracy or something...

Posted by mikki at 12:51 PM | Permalink

HAHAHAHAHAHA! (editor)
Guatemalen evangelists Juan Pablo and Kathia Leonardo have investigated a Hello Kitty craze in Hebron, and made some disturbing discoveries.

Well now we will see the relationship of the acient cult of cats and this Hello kitty character, as a matter of fact bast is still honored by some pagan cults, and that is not surprising because the greeks called her Artemis and the Romans Diana, which is also semiramis and every other pagan goddess around, Bast is represented as we said by a human body of a woman with a cat's head… that's Hello kitty description also!!, the difference is that it has cartoon non idol appearance, but as Demetrius the silversmith of Artemis, the Silversmiths of Hello kitty, a company named SANRIO (wich in chinese means Lord of the Mount), brings in no little business for her craftsmen, claiming net earnings of 114 billion yen for the fiscal year 2001.

Not only is she bringing Pagan cat worship into Christian homes, but she is doing so in a typically feline sneaky manner:

My so called theory is that there is a dumb spirit behind her, mentioned in Mark 9:16, and our children the children of Hebron are being drawn to destruction for no other reason that for the love of this world, satan Shrewdness brings this so called Toy because he knows Christians would reject Mickey Mouse, Pokemon, but Hello kitty? Oh she's so Cute, Most disturbing is the fact that Pi Beset in hebrew means mouth of loathing.

The depth of our fundagelical friends' research is stunning - it turns out that Kitty-chan's husband, Dear Daniel, is not a boy cat!

Also it is said that bastet is the goddess of the Lesbians, recently Mcdonald's launched a toy collection of Hello kittys dressed as a She and as a He, they came in such couples, of She and She but dressed as He and She, isn't that a repulsive statement of Lesbianism?????

But worst of all, she's leading little children into the occult!

Social Communication, without a mouth? How then does it communicate? according to the prince of the power of the air, the spirit who now works in the sons of disobedience..... because anything that doesn't brings us an our children to the obedience of Christ, is not other thing but DISOBEDIENCE, And so maybe some contemptuous parents would snap… Are you saying I am exposing my children to witchcraft and sorcery!!!!!! Well maybe this parent should not wait until he sees his children in some sort of pagan practice, since the scripture says that rebellion [is as] the sin of witchcraft, and stubbornness [is as] iniquity and idolatry. And adds … Because thou hast rejected the word of the LORD, he hath also rejected thee from [being] king.! Sam 15:23 And indeed Ephesus the capital of diana, was a city with one particular trait we find in Acts 19:19, …. And a number of those who practiced magic arts brought their books together and burned them in the sight of all, witchcraft and ocultism is deeply linked to the goddess diana, artemis or bastet, all the names refer to same evil force... , even we find october 31st to be her day.

HELLO KITTY OR HELL OF KITTY - Kjos Ministries, 2003.
[The Pagan Prattle Online]

Posted by mikki at 12:49 PM | Permalink

Intel v. Jesus, via The Register. [The Trademark Blog]

Posted by mikki at 12:41 PM | Permalink

Well gee...that sounds rather uh....strange?

More than a dozen lawmakers attended a congressional reception this year honoring the Rev. Sun Myung Moon in which Moon declared himself the Messiah and said his teachings have helped Hitler and Stalin be "reborn as new persons." [Washington Post: Front Page]

Posted by mikki at 01:56 PM | Permalink

From the Indy Star

Woman vows revenge against squirrels

LAPORTE, Ind. -- A 78-year-old woman tired of squirrels raiding her bird feeder got out her shotgun to kill the critter, but instead accidentally shot and injured herself.

Alberta Jones loaded her 16-gauge shotgun Sunday and carried it with the barrel pointed down to the back door to take aim, police said. The gun accidentally discharged, police said, and shotgun pellets ricocheted off the floor.

Both of her legs were struck by the pellets, and one in her knee required surgery Tuesday to remove. Her hospital condition was not available Tuesday evening.

"I've tried everything to shag them away, and they keep coming back," Jones said of the squirrels after the incident.

Conservation officer Jerry Shepherd with the Indiana Department of Natural Resources said it is not squirrel season, and that hunting game out of season is a misdemeanor punishable by a maximum 60 days in jail and up to a $500 fine. Authorities are not pressing charges.

Jones vowed to keep shooting at squirrels and using firecrackers -- as she has done several times before -- to discourage them from getting into her bird feeder. She also shoots groundhogs and other animals she considers a nuisance.

"My neighbors call me Annie Oakley," she said.

Posted by mikki at 01:43 PM | Permalink

United States: Canada has found a novel way to rid itself of the more loony fundie elements in its midst, they ship them to the US where they fit right in.

Two Pentecostals got a tad carried away in New York this week by announcing that the 11 Spetember attacks were a damn fine reason to pray. Perhaps, if you're so inclined, but making a loud declaration on a plane about to take off is probably not the best way to go about it.

Two preachers grounded a flight leaving Buffalo, New York, after they frightened passengers by declaring the Sept. 11, 2001, attacks were a good reason to pray, officials said on Thursday.

Posted by mikki at 09:06 AM | Permalink

A German couple discovers why they don't have any children...

A couple in Germany demonstrated conclusively why sex education should not be left to religious institutions.

According to a brief article on Ananova, a couple, who are in their 30's and have been married for 8 years, showed up at a fertility clinic at the University of Lubeck. They were concerned about the fact that after 8 years of marriage, they remained childless.

After being poked and prodded, tested and tweaked, it turns out that there was no physiological reason they could not concieve children.

There was a physiological reason they hadn't concieved any children however. They weren't having sex. At all. Ever.

Apparently, these people were brought up in a strict religious community, and they didn't know the first thing about sex. Like the fact that you have to have sex to procreate.[Morons Dot Org]

Posted by mikki at 12:54 PM | Permalink

Well, the Goddess thinks I should have a few million dollars. Who's going to send it to me? I'm waiting :-)

United Sates: A Virginia woman has been sent to prison after God told her to pester the staff at a car dealership.

Cole testified earlier this year that she knew she had been ordered to stay away from the car dealership. But she insisted that God ordered her to go there. Cole said she was never rude to employees.

She said that God insisted they give her a free vehicle. Woman Who Claimed God Sent Her Gets Jail Time - ABC 7 News, 18th May 2004 (via Religion News Blog).
[The Pagan Prattle Online]

Posted by mikki at 12:44 PM | Permalink

A few months ago we had the Jesus plush with removable clothing and sandals. This time we have the plush Anubis. What's next? The plush Kali Ma? Maybe a plush Yaweh? What are these guys thinking?

Keep your plush Cthulhu company with this Anubis, God of the Dead Plush:

Egyptian god of the dead, represented as a black jackal or dog, or as a man with the head of a dog or jackal. After the early period of the Old Kingdom, he was superseded by Osiris as god of the dead, being relegated to a supporting role as a god of the funeral cult and of the care of the dead. The black colour represented the colour of human corpses after they had undergone the embalming process. In the Book of the Dead, he was depicted as presiding over the weighing of the heart of the deceased in the Hall of the Two Truths. His principal sanctuary was at the necropolis in Memphis and in other cities.

This poseable plush stands nearly 12 inches tall. Decked out in gold and jewels, this plush is a true representation of the God of the Dead.

[The Pagan Prattle Online]

Posted by mikki at 09:41 AM | Permalink

Italy: An update on the demon infestation at Canneto di Caronia from James Randi. As expected, from the loony fundie contingent:

The Catholic Church's local exorcist arrived, and — not to anyone's surprise — immediately announced that Satan was at work. I've seen things like this before. Demons occupy a house and appear in electrical goods, he said, urging the parish priest to take action. But the local priest, wiser than the exorcist, in my opinion, decided to let the scientists have a first try at solving the puzzle.

[The Pagan Prattle Online]

Posted by mikki at 09:37 AM | Permalink

Fill that annoying gap on your shelves with this HAUNTED POSSESSED VOODOO IDOL HUMAN BONE!

Another fabulous estate sale find. This hideous strange old tribal fetish is made of bone (human?) and hair. Just touching it creeps me out.

Looking for something truly authentic for your haunt or home? Something that will be the envy of your friends and perfectly illustrate your unique and interesting taste? Then this antique statue may just have what you are looking for..

If anyone has info on the origins of this strange little man, let me know.

This was aquired from a Hollywood estate sale where the owner collected macabre antiques!

As for the fetish itself, it's probably worth something. This large unique tribal witchcraft idol it is carved out of bone --yuk!--with primitive carvings . The hair looks realistic - I hope it didn't belong to someone!

This is an impressive piece - primitive and tribal. .

"I know about all these proven hoaxes around the internet of Haunted Paintings and Haunted items. Yet i have no intention in doing that. I only collect genuine haunted artifacts and hunt for them all over, that is a well proven fact, by many, many people who have bought from me. Yet now claims have turned to proof for me. I did my own investigation on this statue in my lving room, and the results are amazing. My door would close by itself and the lights would often flicker on and off. I think a ghost is either attatched to the statue, or is possessing it to get our attention. Sure it scares me as hell, and at the moment the statue is hidden by me. I just took these snaps and rushed it back into the garage There is nothing as scary as something that is possessed, and after having 3 different witnesses to this, i found it hard to believe, yet now im eating up my own words. Im shocked.

This is a real haunted idol. very freaky buy at your own risk..

This auction is for an antique possessed tribal statue in amazing condition, just a small piece.

My reasoning for listing this is, serious bidders would be interested in an object that could actually be haunted.

Way too creepy!!!"
[The Pagan Prattle Online]

Posted by mikki at 12:44 PM | Permalink

Gotta love that nobody calls themselves 'Little Rabbit Foo Foo' except me :-)

Someone calling themselves The Snow Queen is fed up with a particular fashion for names found in the Pagan community, and fluffy Pagans in general.

Fluffy pagans believe that nature is a happy, bouncy place where little bunnies cuddle up with the fuzzy tigers and no one ever gets turned into a goon or, well, eaten. The vast majority of members in the Ministry of Silly Names are more or less fluffy. Yet they continually choose predatory animals for their namesakes! Or even better, carrion birds like ravens. Nobody wants to be a prey animal, no matter how genteel they think the law of the jungle is.

The contributors to this fine publication would like to point out that the rant is neopagan-specific (via Larry).
[The Pagan Prattle Online]

Posted by mikki at 09:04 PM | Permalink

Think this might make the fundies upset? I couldn't help but think of a fellow Tae Kwon Do referee today who told us that her husband would not allow her to referee any tournaments unless she could come home in time for church on Sunday morning. When she refereed the National matches, that lasted over a week, she had to find a minister for her Sunday "ministrations." *Shudder* Perhaps she'd be better off with a nice gay guy

Marc-Anthony Macon and his boyfriend are fed up of being told that they already have the same rights as straight men -- they may marry women. So, he's come up with a cunning plan:

Until you allow gay couples, nation-wide, to marry one-another, we will start marrying your potential mates.

That's right.

Gay men are going to cruise around and find the hottest women they can, and marry them. Don't think the women will be up for it? Let me ask you this:

If women were given the choice of marrying a straight man, who won't give them much sex after the first couple of years, or marrying gay men who will give them no sex, but allow them to sleep with whomever they want, along with taking them dancing, to romantic dinners, bring them random gifts of flowers, tell them how beautiful they are, remember their birthdays and anniversaries and decorate their homes. Which marriage will sound better to them?

You have been warned...
[The Pagan Prattle Online]

Posted by mikki at 08:53 PM | Permalink

This is utterly HILARIOUS! Use these on your favorite moviegoer

United Kingdom: The wits over at The Guardian have come up with a glossary of useful Aramaic phrases to help enrich your enjoyment of The Passion of The Christ.

B-kheeruut re'yaaneyh laa kaaley tsuuraathaa khteepaathaa, ellaa Zaynaa Mqatlaanaa Trayaanaa laytaw!
It may be uncompromising in its liberal use of graphic violence, but Lethal Weapon II it ain't.

Da'ek teleyfoon methta'naanaak, pquud. Guudaapaw!

Please turn off your mobile phone. It is blasphemous.

Shbuuq shuukhaaraa deel. Man ethnaggad udamshaa?

Sorry I'm late. Have I missed any scourging?

Aykaa beyt tadkeetha? Zaadeq lee d-asheeg eeday men perdey devshaanaayey haaleyn!

Where is the loo? I need to wash my hands of this popcorn.

Posted by mikki at 07:38 PM | Permalink

Ok, I am likely opening myself up to a lot of flack for saying this, but why can't some of these people do just a little tiny bit of scientific examination of their ideas. Just a teeny tiny bit, please?

This rather different website is apparently set up for people who feel that their bodies contain DNA from mythological creatures, or their soul was put in the wrong body and they are actually in essence one of these mythological creatures. But wait, these creatures might really have existed.

What I wonder is if these cosmic mistakes can actually happen, why nobody has the soul of let's say....a triceratops. Or maybe a giant sloth. No, wait...maybe some DO have giant sloth souls :-). But nobody goes around talking about it.

Posted by mikki at 09:57 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

This is one of the most hilarious things I've seen lately. It's well worth the amusing click.

Kids! Accept Jesus Christ as Your Lord and Savior and Get a Free PlayStation 2 [Madville.com]

Posted by mikki at 10:44 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)

Feel the need for salvation? Got just what you need! Just Click This Handy Link .

Sometimes you just have to shake your head in wonder .

Posted by mikki at 10:03 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)

I just love Pagan Prattle

According to Peter (alt.conspiracy, 10th December 2003) Freemasons are, in fact, aliens:

The Freemasons are an organization of extraterrestrial beings, closely
linked to Zionism, who cross-bred with earth humans long ago. Not all of
them actually join the lodge nor make public their association with this
organization. They are the descendants of the fallen angels of Biblical
lore who cross-bred with the daughters of men creating giants (seemingly
human beings with advanced abilities compared to earth humans.)

Posted by mikki at 11:39 AM | Permalink

Only you can decide. Take a look at this link and make your decision on what the hidden meaning of this manifestation could possibly be.

Posted by mikki at 08:54 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

It's always something, isn't it? This time, it's those crazy spell-casting Hindus

Be warned! Black magic is rife in the Hindu world and evil spells are easy to cast but hard to remove:

Putting a Black magic spell on someone is very easy for those knowing even a little bit of Tantrik siddhis/ voodoo. But to remove the spell and eliminate it's sinister effects needs lot of expertise, continuous & rigorous puja/worship and a combination Siddhis & Sadhna.

But why bother with such a tedious process after some magickal script kiddie has hosed your life? Instead, why not buy a 'Raksha Kavach' for Protection & Cure of Black Magic from godpromise.com?

'Raksha Kavach' is the most powerful Talisman for protection and cure of Black magic. 'Raksha Kavach' eradicates all ill-effects of Black magic, Evil spells, Curses, Ghosts and Spirits. It cures one of evil effects of past attacks and protects one from all future attacks.

The effect of 'Raksha Kavach' never gets reduced. It's protection is life-long, and lasts for as long as it is worn. The moment it is worn, the negative effects start receding and it's protection starts, freeing the wearer from all evil influences which can ruin & destroy one's present and future life.

'Raksha Kavach' is blessed with so much extraordinary energy and power that it can guard and protect an individual against the strongest super-natural forces, negative powers and reverse/break any kind of spell.

The wearer of 'Raksha Kavach' always remains immune from any Black magic attacks.

Not effective against spells for the separation of fools and their money. Does not cure inability to use apostrophes.

Posted by mikki at 02:09 AM | Permalink

From Madville.com

Fijian villagers are to offer a traditional apology to the descendants of an English missionary who was killed and eaten 136 years ago.

The Rev Thomas Baker, of the London Missionary Society, was killed by the people of Navatusila in 1867 for taking a comb out of a chief's hair, reports The Pacific Islands News Association.

It was and still is forbidden to touch the head of a chief and he was subsequently cooked and eaten.

The inhabitants of the remote Fiji mountain village believe they have been cursed for what their forefathers did and the district chief has invited Mr Baker's descendants to a ceremony to apologise.

Posted by mikki at 10:16 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Humor in the face of discrimination

United States: George W. Bush has declared Marriage Protection Week on behalf of insecure married people everywhere, but in a beautiful example of the separation of church and state, it only refers to the Christian model of marriage. Muslims and Mormons, for example, can piss off.

Marriage is a union between a man and a woman, and my Administration is working to support the institution of marriage by helping couples build successful marriages and be good parents.

In response, Nick of morons.org has declared Gay Sex Protection Week:

Gay sex Is a Sacred Institution, and Its Protection Is Essential to the continued strength of our society. Gay Sex Protection Week provides an opportunity to focus our efforts on preserving the sanctity of gay sex and on engaging in hot and wet gay sex in America.

We must support the institution of gay sex and help gays have multiple orgasms. And we must continue our work to create a compassionate, welcoming society, where all people are treated with dignity and respect (unless they're not into that).

During Gay Sex Protection Week, I call on all Americans to join me in expressing support for the institution of gay sex with all its benefits to our porno, our culture, and our society.

But play safe now, and remember to use condoms, dams and other appropriate forms of protection.
[The Pagan Prattle Online]

Posted by mikki at 08:12 AM | Permalink

After a long (well, not really so long) search, I have been gifted with a website for the fluffiest bunnies that have ever been seen by humankind. These are TRULY the fluffiest that have EVER been. And therefore, must be exposed for all the world to see. If you are brave, and if you can stand it, you can see these horrible fluffy bunnies here.

Posted by mikki at 04:12 PM | Permalink

Searching for a suitable Bargain of the Day led me to this auction for an audio book by David Benoit: Fourteen Things Witches Hope Parents Never Find Out:

For years, witchcraft has been seasonable. It seems every September and October, witches are on bulletin boards, front porches, and windows, as decorations for the upcoming Halloween season.

But, I have news for you. Witchcraft is not just for Halloween anymore. Our children are prime targets of these beliefs. 365 days a year, children are being preyed upon by witchcraft through the promotion of cartoons, toys, and games. There are also professing witches in the field of education. This puts our children in a very vulnerable position.

It has been said, Those who control the youth, control the future. Could there be a plan in witchcraft to control the future of your child? Does God promise to protect Christian homes when parents allow occult items in their homes? No,

Through this tape series, you will hear some alarming evidence. some of the information on these tapes includes: Understanding which witch is which; Is there a difference between white and black magic?; Are trolls, smurfs, mermaids, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and other cartoon and games safe for your child?; 14 secrets witches hope you never find out; 7 practical ways to prepare your child from getting involved in witchcraft; and 27 scriptural admonitions for protecting your children.

Benoit is the person behind Glory Ministries and has written a number of of books aimed at the sort of Christian who needs to be told how to pronounce his name, mostly about the evils of popular culture. Apparently one to reserve his important words for those who pay for them, the only article on the site is an anti-Harry Potter rant. [The Pagan Prattle Online]
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Posted by mikki at 11:49 AM | Permalink

I made a serious mistake this morning. I went searching around for some non fluffy weblogs I might be able to subscribe to, and maybe get some useful knowledge, enlightenment, rituals, you know....something that makes you say, "yeah, that's pretty cool." But I came away disenchanted (pun intended) by a myriad of "I'm 12 and a persecuted Wiccan," "Why Christians Suck," "If You Don't Put Your Chalice Exactly 3.256 CM From The Approved Flavor of Incense, Your Ritual Will Fail," and "Send Me Money To Be A Real Witch[tm]" that I got quite annoyed and pretty much gave up.

This made me do some soul searching. What is "real?" Why do some people use Wicca as a crutch for their own inadequacies? Why do some people feel they need to be Wiccan because they hate christians? And why do some people feel the need to candy-coat, roll in honey, and then sprinkle with sugar ANYTHING that has to do with paganism?

If you know the answer, please tell me.

Posted by mikki at 04:14 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

First you adorn your altar with a can of Old Milwaukee, a remote control with fresh batteries, some used Q tips and some cinnamon oil. Wear a red feather boa, a french maid uniform, and biker boots. Wiggle your butt towards the alter 3x clockwise, and intone:

Oh Fred, the epitome of Fredness, help we Freds to become more Fred Like. We meek and mere mortal Freds wish nothing but to elevate our status to that of true Freds, and to this end we give you these offerings.

Guzzle 3/4 Old Milwaukee, belch and say Oh spirit of air, I belch in your direction. Please assist me with this lame and worthless quest.

Point the remote control, and flip through the channels until you find a commercial for toilet cleaner. Intone thusly: Oh spirit of water, I flush in your direction. Please assist me with this lame and worthless quest.

Raise the dirty Q tips over your head and invoke the spirit of earth thusly: Oh chunky dirty spirit of earth, I waggle my earwax in your direction. Please assist me with this lame and worthless quest.

Rub the cinnamon oil into your nostrils, and wait 2 seconds. Then run around in clockwise circles screeching: Oh fire, I burn in your general direction and screech ouchie ouchie. Please assist me in this lame and worthless quest.

Pour the rest of the Old Milwaukee up your nose and dry it with your feather boa. Continue with the ritual thusly:

"Gee, that feels much better. Now where was I? Oh Fred, as we are the clan of the name of Fred's Edge, and all of us have named ourselves thusly Fred, our Fredness is now confirmed. Now get lost and have a nice day."

Now finish the ritual with cheap beer and oreos that have been properly aged at least 1 year.

Posted by mikki at 11:38 PM | Permalink

I have chosen my new names. I am Mistress Little Rabbit Foo Foo on Mondays, Ambrosia Wifflebane Stormbunny on Tuesday, WitchiePoo on Wednesday, Admiral Horiatio Hornblower on Thursday, Fluffy the Poodle of Doom on Fridays, Keeper of the Sacred Fingernail Clipper on Saturday, and High Priestess of Nuclear Waste on Sundays.

Posted by mikki at 11:42 PM | Permalink

Oh dear, oh my...Powerbook G4 is writing AGAIN

I did so well with my grounding exercise that I have decided to go directly to a combination of lessons 8, 9 and 10.

The Powerbook G4's Circle

In Circle, I shall be referred to as Little Rabbit Foo Foo, Priest of the Triple God of Elvis, Jean Luc Picard, and L. Ron Hubbard. The three that are one. Make It So.

Now, I know I said it was a circle, but it isn't really a circle. It's more a three dimensional 24 sided big blue neon vortex with fringe on top. But I am not supposed to tell you that since you haven't been initiated into the Top Secret Security Clearance Circle of Elvis Luc Hubbard, I would have to nail my head to a chase lounge.

First, I turn in the direction of Graceland. I light a crack pipe and invoke "oh Elvis...come and get it you fat bastard." When I hear the strains of "Hound Dog" I know that he is with me. Next, I turn in the direction of Star Fleet Academy, fire a phaser and invoke "Oh holy bald one, my lord mighty Picard. Bring thy holy tight buns into my presence. Make it so." When I hear William Shatner cry "But *I* am the Captain of the Enterprise," I know he is with me. Lastly, I turn towards the nearest Borders book shop and invoke, "Oh L Ron who started a religion on a bit with Frederick Pohl. Please show me your divine dianetics." When I hear "That will be 19.95 if you call before midnight tomorrow." I know he is with me.

Then I begin my ritual. "Now that you're all here, I ask that you smite my enemies for they be smelly and not very nice, and I am so much better, being a computer and all. Grant me the Smite Key of Doom thus that I can delete without care." When I hear a great snickering, I know they have heard me.

Then I may close the circle. I raise my arms (that are very small being a computer) to the skies and say,"I'm done with you. Get out, you bastards." They seem to like that.

May I now be in the 32nd circle please?

Posted by mikki at 12:01 AM | Permalink

As I found myself pulled by my powercord, I couldn't help but think that the floor was a long way below. Little did I know that I would see it sooner, faster and closer than I ever thought possible. I hung there suspended in the air thinking, "I hope this is not as painfulas it looks." What seemed like hours later, I saw my battery compartment pass my monitor. In the next instant I received the news that gravity was not dead. And I, yes I was grounded.

Posted by mikki at 11:56 PM | Permalink